I wrote recently of my adventures so far with prostate cancer and my long-cranky bowel becoming a whole lot crankier: how radiation treatment of prostate cancer went for a mystic, so far
Flushed out my G.I. tract yesterday evening prelude to endoscope and colonoscope exams today.
Was greeted online this morning with cheer from somewhat older mate, who started out life in Australia and ended up in America.
Me:Dear Sloan:How hangs your wang? Do you use like a hammer drive nails in with a single bang? Is it poking out so much that you can use it to hang? Or is it hooked up to the telephone line so it's easier to hear when company has rang? If you could take it off, do you suppose it would make a decent boomerang? If it failed as a boomerang, do you think your wang could get some vocal treatment and then form a rock group, just so you could say it sang? If you let it off its leash do you suppose it would go rogue and join a bikie gang?How are you bloke? I claim fossil status as I was born in '36. You're still full of piss and vinegar. I watch you poke those crazies until they go batshit.I've had an interesting medical time too.After much waiting, I went in to get the J&J shot. When I was still young I crashed a kit plane I had built when I was maybe 15. I broke everything me cock and me hearing and sometimes it felt like it felt like my ear was pissing and my wang was picking up shortwave from Alberta Canada. So everything may have been broken.So I got the shot and I was fine for 5 days and all of a sudden I had something happen which I thought was a recurrence of Bell's Palsy. So a granddaughter drives me to the hospital, she jumps out and gets a wheelchair for me. I mumble grumble mushmouth potato talk that I've had a recurrence of Bell's Palsy. A nurse came out, looked at my age, asked if I'd had the vaccine and did I have my card? I showed it to her on my smart phone, and no sooner than she did a scan with her phone of the QCode, they got a crash cart and I was put in the ICU. I had tried to put on nice clothes and that was a goddamn mistake. They don't let me take off me shiny new duds. They pull out scissors I'm pretty sure they cut tin with and cut my clothes off. Next thing I know I have IV, I am trying to ask what is going on. Next thing I know they put a mask over my face and taste something faintly like citrus. A doctor looks down on me and asks to count down from ten. I make it to 6. The last thing I hear is "He won't need much anesthesia, he's a light weight."I wake up and get told that they put an entire rebuild kit in me. I'd had a stroke, and I don't mean the kind that ends up conveniently in a tissue.I think they miscalculated how much KJJ to give me because at one point I head bagpipes and me da' and old Frank Cahlhagen played the pipes like that.I look like I have a permanent pissed off sneer now, so not at that much has changed. I had that before.Been in physical rehab.They want me to have a colonoscopy(which I dread) in a month.Tell me how you fish these mutants to your blog? How do you pluck them Do you go to them to tweak their noses or do they come to you to tweak your nose and leave in a spectacular huff?Your friend, who knows he is only pawn in game of life.
Me later in day:Holy Tasmanian Devils!!!Did the medics say the Johnson vaccine caused the stroke?Can you walk, use side that was clobbered?As for my wang, I don't know if it still has any interest in women, and no way to test that for some years.The people you read about on my blog, mostly we danced on Facebook, sometimes I dropped in on them, sometimes they dropped in on me. Facebook looks to me like a good place to assess the state of humanity in America, I don't get much interaction with people elsewhere.If ETs monitor Facebook, does it convince them humanity is too messed up to bother with, the cause of the mess might somehow be contagious? Or, is humanity so dangerous that it needs to be good riddanced? Or, why bother, soon enough humanity will exterminate itself?Meanwhile, the planet suffers massive strokes and the sun feels so sorry for the planet that it beams a little bit extra solar flare and puts the planet out of its misery.Hope you are on the mend. I'm headed soon to have my innards scoped and whatever. My older daughter driving over to be my driver and minder.
The endoscope and colonoscope didn't show anything scary, some biopsies were taken, lab results will tell rest of the story.Just my redneck mystic opinion, the folks who resist getting vaccinated are more dangerous to America than the foreign devils.