Monday, March 4, 2019

Breaking news: God rewards the faithful

Yesterday, a mainland friend said she thinks Facebook has gone to hell and she is not getting much in her news feed and that's why I don't get much from her on Facebook. I asked what she meant by her news feed? She said, her Facebook feeds. I laughed, said, That's not news. 

Do-gooder Mike Tolbert, of Key West, sent me a link to  breaking heaven-and earth-shaking news:

Italy Arrests Cardinals And Seizes Vatican City


Vatican City ceases to be an independent state. 

Rome, Italy – Italian law enforcement arrested scores of Cardinals early yesterday morning. The Italian military shortly afterward swept into Vatican City. The Italian parliament voted overwhelmingly to merge Vatican City into the city of Rome, effectively ending Catholicism’s reign over the city-state.

To Catch A Predator(s)

Italian law enforcement worked for months to launch a sting program on the pedophile clergy that made up Vatican City. The operation was codenamed Spotlight after the 2015 movie about clergy sex abuse scandal in Boston, Massachusetts.
Inspector Anthony Canard is the commanding officer of Spotlight. “Everyone knew Vatican City was the center of an international pedophile ring,” he stated. “We sent busloads of orphans into Vatican City for the annual Cardinal Convention. Long story short? The kids were never in harm’s way, and we nabbed a lot of perps.”
At that point, Vatican City was still an independent country. Italian police had to smuggle the cardinals out on the bus to face criminal charges in Italian courts.
Catholic clergy overseas are quick to point out their peers who are under arrest are victims of a virulent strain of anti-Catholicism and hatred of the man-boy sacrament.


Once Spotlight ended and the pedophile ring jailed, the Italian government moved quickly. Local units of the military swept into Vatican City. “We were sick and tired of looking the other way,” an anonymous politician noted.
Swiss Guards were caught unaware. It was obvious their pointy pikes were no match for assault rifles. The invasion was bloodless. No one was injured.
At this time, the Italian government isn’t sure what it’s going to do with all the wealth the papacy built up over the centuries. Insiders say many buildings will be transformed into museums. Other assets will probably be auctioned off and given to survivors of clergy abuse. “It’s poetic justice,” one government official remarked, “and the pedophile priests just got slammed with poetry.”

If only the pope had the faith and courage 😎 of the South African pastor below?

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A Christian church leader tried to prove that the Lord would step forward and come to his rescue and save him recently when he went up against a lion. Things did not go as planned and the church…
  • Bob Modesitt

    God DOES protect but leaves the morons to watch after themselves.
  • Capatina Mona Lissa
    Dude should have been left to the Lions..... Humans are not normally prey to lions, but what he did was extremely stupid.
  • Todd Ringling
    A shame that the park rangers shot at the lions, and didn't allow the big cats to "Clorox the gene pool".
  • Sandy Whetzel
    Um, God gave us brains so he didn't have to babysit millions of is every single moment. Stupidity is the weaker weeding themselves out.
  • Ron Howze
    And the Darwin award goes to....
    • Stephen E. Boiko
      The Good Reverend didn't die, just has some pieces missing on his body
    • Todd Ringling

      Todd Ringling Ron Howze but the bastard survived so he wasn't eligible for a Darwin Award
    • Ron Howze

      Ron Howze Todd Ringling dammit. I didn't read the article
    • Todd Ringling

      Todd Ringling Ron Howze basically he ran at a lion who'd killed an animal for food, and zippy thought god would protect him because he was a minister and evidently thought that that was sufficient to keep the lion from attacking. The dam agnostic lion (yes, it's said jokingly) disagreed and took exception to having its meal interrupted. Spud didn't lose any limbs or organs, sadly, but the kitty was driven off by rangers firing rifles to drive it away from the injured (self-inflicted due to his stupidity) idiot. Then spudsy was rushed to the hospital. Their Hippocratic oath swayed docs to heal him, and he went home by the end of the day. At least that's how it read here.
    • Ron Howze

      Ron Howze Todd Ringling that's a great description of the story! I'm dying!
    • Todd Ringling

      Todd Ringling Ron Howze meh, but I'm a giver...
  • Herschel Allen Stults
    God did intervene, he fed a lion.
  • Bill Diaz
    The problem is God did intervene, everyone else stayed on the truck except the idiot who decided to get off..
    • Stephen E. Boiko
      He is the Pastor the leader of the flock.
    • James Tidwell

      James Tidwell Stephen E. Boiko, however, he is human. And human can make mistakes and humans can do stupid things, even if they are the leader. Bring a leader does not make one infallible or mistake proof.
    • Stephen E. Boiko

      Stephen E. Boiko James Tidwell stupid is stupid.
  • Bruce Kennedy
    When Jesus was tempted by the Devil his response was "Get thee behind me Satan" Not "Hold my beer"
  • Janna Davis
    God gave us the freedom to be ourselves without judgement and intervening. We chose this life and when to go home. He made his choice. God is blameless.
    • Todd Ringling

      Todd Ringling Janna Davis if he/she is real. Otherwise it’s a way to hold a Damocles-like sword over the heads of those gullible enough to buy into it and keep priests in food, housing, and little kids...
  • Sloan Bashinsky
    I can see God shaking "his" head in wonderment.
  • Kris Wendler
    OMG. How idiotic.
  • Sloan Bashinsky

    Sloan Bashinsky Okay, this morning I opened the link and read the article. It has typing errors and is repetitive and the photos don't have anything to do with the alleged mauling, and the Kruger National Park officials had no reports from the alleged park ranger about it, nor from any park ranger. I suppose it is possible that it happened, but whoever created the report sure did leave plenty of room for thinking it was all made up - to slam evangelical Christianity? A different kind of satire also was in my FB timeline yesterday. If only it really had happened.

    Italy Arrests Cardinals And Seizes Vatican City
    Italy Arrests Cardinals And Seizes Vatican City
    Italy Arrests Cardinals And Seizes Vatican City

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