On the 2nd anniversary of the Uvalde, Texas school shooting massacre by a natural born domestic U.S citizen terrorist toting a high capacity magazine AR-15 designed to quickly kill as many people as possible, I watched CNN interview bereaved parents who lost their children that horrible day. I thought, in my spirit code, 2 is the number for Jesus in the Gospels, who said to let the little children come to him, for of such is the Kingdom of God.
The day before, a Birmingham tattoo artist juxtaposed a yellow rosebud tattoo over a Vagrant tattoo a Key West tattoo artist had put on my right shoulder in 2007, when it was vogue in Key West to call homeless people, “vagrants”.
The yellow rosebud tattoo represents the yellow peace rosebud on my infant son’s simple oak casket, when I buried him on September 12, 1968 in the family plot at Elmwood cemetery, in Birmingham. Crib death (sudden infant death syndrome) took him. No words can explain my bewildered shock and trauma, and their later effect on me.
In 1988, I felt moved to return to his grave for the first time. Years before I had planted a climbing yellow peace rose bush where I lived, and I drove there and snipped a rose off that bush and drove to.Elmwood Cemetery. I didn’t remember how to get to the family burial plot, and I didn’t remember where my son was buried in the plot, and I had not had a marker put on his grave. I stopped at the business office of the cemetery and asked for directons and was told how to get to the family plot and that my son was buried at the foot of my mother’s gave stone.
I parked my car and got out and walked toward my mother’s grave stone, and as I neared it I came unhinged and fell to my knees and bawled and bawled and balled by heart and eyes out. I came back to this grave maybe half dozen times with a yellow peace rose, until no more tears came. I went to the cemetery office and selected a small flat granite grave marker and asked them to put on it, “Infant son, he opened our hearts and set us on our journey."
Watching CNN’s Uvalde school shooting massacre coverage the morning after getting the yellow rosebud tattoo, I thought owning such guns as the Uvalde shooter used, AR-15, really is about deranged men wanting to feel better about their peckers; and if women want such guns, it’s their penis envy.
I thought the U.S. Supreme Court never once considered the right of the citizens to bear arms in the 2nd Amendment is predicated on the need to have a well-regulated militia to preserve the free State, and there has been no well-regulated militia in America since the American Revolution.
Amendment 2
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I thought the National Rifle Association and the U.S. Supreme Court and the U.S. Congress and the state legislatures had unleashed the hounds from hell on America, which was never the Founding Fathers’ intention.
I thought about the right wing Christian from Texas, U.S. Senator Ted Cruz, who had defended the 2nd Amendment right of the Uvalde natural born domestic terrorist to have the AR-15 he used to slaughter all of those school children and two of their teachers.
I hoped Cruz has a chance someday in space and time to feel just like the parents of those slaughtered Uvalde school children feel today.
I hoped every member of the NRA, and every member of the Supreme Court, and every member of Congress, and any state legislator, who shares Cruz's view, gets to know how the parents of the slaughtered Uvalde school children feel.
No, I do not want more school children to be slaughtered in their schools, but given how sacred owning guns designed solely to quickly kill as many people as possible is in America, I see so other way to get gun nut lovers' attention.
Now if my saying that causes anyone to think I am a horrible person, that I should be stuck dead by God’s lightning and die and burn in hell forever, consider that when I was writing The Golden Flake Clown’s Tale in 2022, free read at the internet library https://archive.org/details/goldenflakeclownstale, it came to me from out of the blue that angels known in the Bible had initiated a new school shooting massacre protocol in America, as follows:
When there is a school shooting, children whose souls have not signed up for such a demonic experience are carried away by those angels and new souls come in who need to have that experience. With God, anything is possible.
If someone thinks I’m batshit crazy for saying that, in early 1994, this poem leaped out of me
Only fools rush inwhere angels fear to tread,but if there were no fools,who’d lead the angels?
Right away, I started feeling something huge and wonderful trying to squeeze into me. I felt it physically and energetically. There were lots of teary and sublime moments, day after day, night after night, for two weeks.
I was in the habit of taking a long walk every morning. About two weeks into that experience, at the turnaround point in a morning walk, I felt the presence of angels around me.
I heard, “This thing coming into you is your angel twin, all people have an angel twin, and yours will live out your life with you.”
I thought, That’s neat.
I heard, “By the way, this is your son.”
My heart heaved, tears welled in my eyes, my knees buckled, I nearly fell to the ground.
I stopped feeling something huge and wonderful trying to squeeze into me.
I eventually came to see that my son’s death had so unhinged me, that despite how hard I tired, I was unable to fit myself into the plans my father and mother and their parents had for me, nor into any plans I had for me.
I hope the bereaved families of the massacred Uvalde school children, and the bereaved families of children massacred in other American schools, someday, somehow, have their own yellow rosebud experience.
sloanbashinsky@yahoo.com
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