Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Depression, or Dark Night of the Soul?

Found this post in an online spiritual discussion group and joined in:

Please help me
I am lost. My depression has come back full force. I am dying, slowly.
I need to escape this. I can’t die, because I don’t want to hurt my family. But I need out of this, and fast. I don’t know how long I can fight.
I used to be spiritual. It gave me purpose. But now I don’t know where I am. I don’t know what to do. If anyone knows how to heal spiritually, please tell me.
Please help me.

There were many reader responses and no further comment from Please Help Me. Here are two people's responses, followed by mine. 

I think the biggest problem I've had is 'what can I actually do.' - I wanted so desperately to change the way I felt but didn't know how to go about it. The best answer I found in this life after a lifetime of books/pills/therapy above all others was Kundalini Yoga. It put me back together where everything else failed. Many things can happen through practice, and I assure you these things are real and magnificent and no small thing each. Depression is lifted, anger is abated and eventually extraordinarily rare. Emotional issues are slowly raised out and strong issues are usually, for me, cried out. Crying is a strong sign of healing during the process. Courage is gained, as well as the motivation to do things. I suffered from lethargy and procrastination and now I no longer feel those things. Tasks come easy for me and I don't feel lazy anymore. Fear is abated and things that used to give your system a shock reaction no longer do.
All my life up until the age of 34 I've suffered with these things including deep depression. Kundalini Yoga helped me eliminate these things for my life. It wasn't often easy for me, but I was driven by a desire for peace. I think most people who undertake spiritual practices have reached a point in their life where they recognize the value of peace and are willing to do whatever is necessary. This helps you overcome any trepidation you may be feeling. Things that once felt rotten in life like frustration you barely feel at all. Your mind is probably chattery, but after this you can have the clarity of a sage with just a minimum of meditation supplementation. Don't get me wrong, it'll take time and sincere effort, but if you reach that point that is something you wi8ll have in abundance. I definitely wanted the clear mind enough and it eventually came and I tell you: Life without the constant chatter of thoughts gibbering about things I just UGH WANTED TO DROP was an entirely different world.
If you're interested, I highly suggest you look at some popular torrent sites and search Maya Fiennes, she's easy to follow, well paced, and has balanced practices that are rooted in the traditions of Kundalini Yoga. As I said, I used it for 6 years and it is quite awesome. It turned my world into something entirely difference. Unlike 'anti-depression' pills and supplements where you barely notice any difference, this actually changes the way you feel things if you work it sincerely and with a spiritual heart. For example, frustration doesn't feel terribly ugly when you feel it, nor does anger. It gets to where you feel the anger, you deal with it, and the event doesn't spoil your entire days mood or sit on you for 4 hours, the ugly way it used to do with me. The way you feel is EVERYTHING! It is the dynamic that follows you everywhere. And so I think, in my opinion, it is worth it to pursue a change for the way you feel with all your heart. Good luck and I hope you find peace whichsoever path you choose.

Far cry and honest pure plea. First, a hug. Take it. 
You don't need to escape this. Take it. absorb it. Allow it to grind its way through your body, grind its way through your mind. 
No one is stronger after lifting puny weights. Only 700 lbs deadlift lift makes a guy stronger, and while he thinks he isn't that strong, and even grimace while keeping this ton of weight, most people who view him, realize how tough and strong he is. 
Your depression is that one ton weight weighing on your mind. Your mind is actually at its strongest peak performance. Human mind is weak when no pain, nor suffering is there to stretch it. You read awright. 
So right now, your brain is under going a heavy lift unparallel. Don't ask for it to stop, cause life has more of these in store for you. 
If you get to live older than 70, you'll realize, looking behind, that it wasn't so bad after all, it made you stronger.

Me to Seasoned 
I lived to 79, so far, and looking back, it still was awful, and it did make me stronger.

Me to Please help me 
You may be in what is called the dark night of the soul, which I have experienced three different times. If that is what you are experiencing, know that it comes on its own and leaves on its own, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about that. It is a fast-track spiritual shift, or leap, and people who endure and survive it are different, sort of like people who have near death experiences are different afterward, but perhaps the dark night is more grounding and less prone for ego inflation. 
Psychiatric anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, tranquilizers, etc. can damage and even stop a dark night process and turn it into a trip to hell-squared. Such drugs also are addictive, regardless of what the medical and pharmaceutical folks say, and weaning from those drugs is like weaning from booze, cigarettes, heroine, etc. - I know that personally, and that I needed angel help to wean after a black night of the soul lifted. A black night is far more awful than a dark night, which is awful. I figure angels stopped me many times from killing myself. 
Now if you are not in a classical dark night, perhaps there is some kind of chemical, vitamin or mineral imbalance blood tests will reveal. Or, perhaps there is something serious and scary you are not dealing with head-on, and are in a dark black hole of fear, which might yield to you speaking your truth and doing what else you need to do. 
Then, if you have not yet done so, which I suppose you have many times, ask God, or however you view what started everything and still is around, to help you, regardless of what that takes, no strings attached, no conditions, just whatever it takes.

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