Saturday, July 8, 2017

more pack donkey hard rock pile tales mixed with a few pieces of fruit

Yesterday morning, my low back started aching. Wasn't sure if it was from lifting heavy day pack wrong, or spirit load too heavy. Perhaps both. Back pain is awful, more so, living on the street, risking making it worse by riding a bicycle and bumps and jostlings from that, and sleeping on hard benches.

Ces’t la vie.
Yesterday afternoon, Young Prophet text’d me. He was pissed off some of my readers had written poorly about him. Said he was going to take time apart from me, I’d hear back from him in a month, or not. 

He also said he’d had it out with a neighbor about something, and the burned-in hoof mark on his calf started going away. I text’d back that my prayer for him had been that he be shown what he needed to see so he could work on the hoof on his calf. I asked him to call me.

He called a little while ago. Said he had been told in his sleep last night to tell me that the stuff going on in Birmingham with my father’s widow and her lawyers, and with my daughters. They all think I’m crazy and they will not help me. Which I said I know. And, if I think taking on the thing in Birmingham will be too much load for me, or get me killed, I should not take it on. In the dream, I was in an easy chair with a legal pad, looking relaxed, writing on the legal pad.

I said I had been thinking the same thing, and it is my father’s estate plan, and I was tired of trying to fix what he and his widow and their lawyers had done.

I told Young Prophet that he came to me in a dream last night and asked if I really wanted to use passes I had for three movies, and “collections need to start coming in.” I woke up thinking that was about stuff I had written to three people yesterday, which perhaps didn’t need to be published today. And collections could be money as well as spirit currency, both of which kinds of money needed to start coming in, instead of it all leaving me. Young Prophet agreed.

I told him he needs to get over people criticizing him. It happens to me all the time, and I had to get to where what I worried about is what God thinks about me. I said, the people who criticize him have no clue what he is experiencing. He’s the first heavy-hitter spirit worker I have seen in a long time. He is being brought into it really fast. He reminds me in some ways of the woman I went around the world with. She was brought into it really fast, too, and she was a heavy hitter. The financial strain was so intense, mostly on her, as she had more credit cards than I did, that we finally flew apart. He would have liked getting to know her, I said.

Young Prophet said for me to let Sancho Panza know that he's thinking about getting his Harley back in shape and putting on his red and gold bicycle club colors and heading to see and have a few words with Sancho. I laughed, said, I bet Sancho would love hearing about motorcycle gang goings on. Young Prophet said, he's seen his motorcycle club members come to Jesus. For real. Not like the motorcycle clubs for Jesus, which ride around on Sundays praising Jesus? No, not like that, Young Prophet said.

I told Young Prophet that he and my hoodoo witch friend have been getting the most useful advice from “above” for me. And Kari, too. People are telling me to shuck her, but I don’t hear that from the angels, not yet anyway. The angels are giving her dreams to try to wake her up. Young Prophet said he did not think I should shuck Kari, just yet.

Speaking of ...
Kari called me last night to say she was punched in the face earlier last night by a man she did not know at a place where homeless zombies (addicts) hang out. A place she had gotten beaten up before by a homeless zombie. I had told her to stop going there, and she had kept going there. 

I asked her why she went there again? She said it’s near her hidey hole, where she goes next. I asked again, why did you go there again? Nothing good ever happened to you there. Bad things happened to you there. That’s going to continue, if you go there.

Kari said she had called the police and they had come and talked to witnesses and had arrested the man and put him into a police cruiser to take him to jail - the idiot had not run away, knowing she had called 911.

I said, Sorry you got punched, but you ask for that when you go there. I can't take any more right now, goodnight.

When Kari called this morning, she said she dreamed last night of being around a lot of people who sort of looked human but not quite, really strange looking. 

I said, The angels keep painting pictures in your dreams of what you are doing to yourself and so far you are not doing anything about it. It’s like back when you were a little girl and were told not to go into the paddock with the horses on your parents’ farm and you did it anyway and got kicked in the face by a horse. It’s very hard for me to watch. 

Yet, I see the angels trying to reach her, and I can’t ignore that, regardless of what well-meaning friends urge me to do. If the angels are going to those lengths, then they really like Kari, is my take on it.

Right now, I see the angels working directly with three people: Kari, Young Prophet and my hoodoo witch amiga. In different ways. 

We are all different. One size does not fit all. Human beings are not stamped out by a cookie cutter into robots. That’s what human society tries to do to them.

Moving laterally …

In yesterday’s post was email back and forth between me and Naja Girard, co-publisher with hubby Arnaud of Key West the Newspaper ( published online every Friday. Naja told me that she and Arnaud are trying to investigate reports of inmates in the county jail having MRSA. Google image MRSA to see more variations of this terrorist made by Mother Nature.
I sent Naja an email this morning, which touched on MRSA in the jail and related gallows humor comedy:

Morning, Naja -

There was a man who hung out in the police station front lobby off and on last night. Said he was just released from A Block in the jail. Said there were 4 MRSA cases in A Block, the infected men should have been quarantined, but were not. I asked him if he would talk with you and Arnaud, and he did not say. 

He said he was in for driving with suspended license, his 4th time caught at that. He was given 1 year by Judge Miller. I said, if he was an illegal immigrant, he would be talking with Border Patrol, and he would be smart to not drive without a license and ride his bicycle wherever he needs to go in Key West. 

He said his first name is Daniel. He said he is from Birmingham. When I heard that, my radar went on full alert. Based on our conversations about Birmingham streets and highways, he knows Birmingham. I took him being from Birmingham as heavy duty message I have serious things in Birmingham to address.

I asked him why he did not stay at KOTS, which is where he said he had told his probation officer he would be staying nights, before he was released? He said he didn't want to be at KOTS. I said I could understand that, but staying up all night on the street, with his bicycle and one piece of luggage didn't make sense to me. 

I told him, unless he is banned from KOTS, the police will not let him sleep a the police station, and if he gets caught sleeping outside at night, he could be back in jail and his probation violated and facing prison. 

He said he has family in Bham, where he can stay, but since he's on probation, he cannot just up and go there with a free Greyhound bus ticket I told him I imagined would gladly be provided to get rid of him. I told him to ask his probation officer about transferring his probation to Birmingham. He did not seem interested in doing that. I told him Key West is a bad place for anyone to be homeless, he should leave if at all possible.

Based on what he told me, he was using the police last night to try to help him gain audience with his ex-girlfriend, who he said dumped him when he was in jail and told him she didn't want him coming around, ever, and she had sicked three of her men friends on him and they had been chasing him all afternoon and he had the police talking with them. 

This morning, one officer told him in my presence that he did not have a warrant outstanding, but he had received a trespass warning, and he was good to go. Three different officers this morning in the front lobby. All because, it seemed, "there was a woman involved" - thank you Jimmy Buffet :-). I think what might have happened was, he went to where his girlfriend lives and the rest followed.

I told Kari about you and Arnaud trying to learn about MRSA in the jail. She said it was there when she was in there, and scabies, too. 


Later thought: 

In the spring of 2006, just after I had moved back to the Florida Keys with an inheritance, I was told in my sleep, "Remember Daniel." I woke up, figured that meant to continue paying close attention to my dreams, since Daniel was the dreamer's dreamer in the Bible, and he got put in a lion's den and the lions did not eat him.
Last today, further Facebook chat with the woman born to LSD parents in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where I attended law school and where my first wife and her and my daughters ended up living after the divorce. This is an example of the "psychotherapy" the angels trained me to do. Her parts in grey, black and white, my parts in blue background.
If I loved a young man, would you see it as sinful?

I have loved a young man for 5 years. He moved down from South Carolina to be close to me and lives in my trailer with my kids, 2 of whom are older than him while my husband and I live now in MS where he got work.
We thought we were just what we needed "at the time" but predictably have not been great about ending things romantically.
We were not romantic until he was of legal age of course.

Sounds like something you should take up with your spiritual guidance and your husband, if he is not already in that loop.

I am an honest, upfront person, Chris and I were sick of eachother, truly, bitter and spiteful too often and for too long. Through the years my lover and I have grown apart, approaching the end of our time. Hubby and I have discovered that with it being just he and I for the first time since we were kids, we get along great and are our best selves. If loving this young man when he needed it and the direction given was wrong, well, I am fallible. I'm glad to have experienced such a common sin. How can I possibly relate to my fellow man, much less feel love for if I do not understand their tripping so easily into grave sin? The difference? I take the experience for what it has been, a middle aged woman and a young man being just the hing for each other at just the time, no harm and much joy.
The feelings I get from guides, for lack of any other word in regard to my relationship is that it is good that I am letting go of what no longer serves me with grace, all is well.

Feels off to me, new age rationalizing. Me, I'd be wondering about karma. You seem really scattered. As did Ginger Buck.

Yeah, she and I feel very similar, appear very different. Feels off to me and new age rationalization as well. So I'm a state away and actively marking a closing chapter to that.
You might try praying for a Will of God Divine Intervention in you.

God already worked this out, I'm in another state and hubby and I are getting on like we havent in decades or ever.
Don't know how the prayer will be received, or what the result might look like, but that's a safe prayer and I'm making it for me right now.

Thy will be done is my way of life. Even my misstep was instructive.
The way you asked me about it did not sound anything like it was all worked out.

It is over, really just an admission of being human and apparently having an area where I was able to be tempted.
I don't think it's over, based on how you approached me with it.

I went from wondering if the young man might have been used to tempt me in a not good way to seeing the obvious. I'd as soon continue in that vein as ever again mess with a ouija, nope.
Maybe you were used in a not good way to tempt the young man, is another way to view it.

A speck of that but given all of the trouble he's seen peers get into and his now seeming much more grounded than when he was desperately seeking a potential Baby Mama, it would appear that while I may have been used to tempt, I was only instructive and good for him.
If you were open about it with your husband, then that was between you and him. The man much younger than you, you waiting until he was of age, etc. does not sound noble, nor does your continued rationalizing.

He's got a good head on his shoulders, knows he has been well loved for his good qualities and unlike his best friend is not already trying to support a wife and 2 little ones.
It was 2012, I for real thought this reality was ending.
You are looking at him, the object is you, based on your lead question to me: Did you sin? This is about you, not the young man.

Eh, he was older than I was when I got married and as sins go, it was a not heavy one.
Hubby was glad that my sex drive was above 0, sweetheart was glad to have someone's attention, an attractive someone.
I was glad to have my sex drive above 0 as well, felt life affirming.
I'm confused. Who was older than you? What's that got to do with you waiting for a kid much younger than you to reach legal age for you to have sex with him?

*years past legal age
He was the age that I was at marriage when we met, not when we were naked
I'm still confused. Your account is not making sense to me, which tells me there is plenty still in play.

Well I am working on not working on that.
Letting it Be.
No, you are telling me a confusing story, and I am wondering why?

Talking to myself, it's easier this way.
I think you are in serious spirit doo doo, based on how you have presented this to me.

Then I shall actively pray about it. I'm not accustomed to having tarnish on my shine.
Perhaps this is the soul reason you asked to friend me on FB.
Again, I suggest you might wish to make the suggested prayer.
If your path is God's will be done, you have nothing to sweat by making that prayer.

Done but with a question mark as I do believe in God's will being done.
ha ha there you go
What you believe is not the issue, the issue is asking for God's will to be imposed on you without any conditions.

Who the hell am I to put limitations on God's will? What an idea.
then make the prayer

I aim to be a good steward, the prayer is done.
I think this is about seeing what is really going on and obedience, as well.

I can see that. It is not easy to not carry on in the fashion I have been.
But as I am being guided to let it be, of course I will.
You have no clue what might be done to you, asked of you, if God's will is imposed on you.

Job and the like
God chose you as the character most likely to call me on bullshit.
And who knows how I may be of service.
None of us have a clue about that. Yeah, God asked Job to do something. Job thought God was trying to get Job killed. Job declined. God swallowed Job until Job hollered uncle. Job did what God asked. The people of Nivea repented. So, God did not kill them. Job got mad at God for not doing what God had told the people of Nivea God was going to do to them because of their evil ways - kill them. Then, God had to try to get Job to see there was no point in killing people who hard repented. Job did not like hearing that. The story ends with the reader wondering if Job ever got the point?

Job was a sanctimonious, self righteous and self serving dick, you say?
You may be put through a cleansing and purging that scares this living shit out of you and makes you wish you never heard of God.

That I might be a empty vessel, Amen.
You are still rationalizing. What you need to do is grow up. There are very few people doing the hard work.

You think so? I was looking to not identify with self but I suppose dissolving of personality is just a depersonalization cheat.
If G od takes you over, you will start sounding and coming across very different. Ginger Buck will wonder what has befallen you? Your husband will, too.

I would be honored. But then, *I* would no longer be.
Drop the notion that you have any clue what you would be, because you don't have a clue.

You sound like my sweet friend discussing dmt with me.
OKAY I will stop being a pretentious know-it-all right now.
People will very definitely feel you, that you very definitely be, and they might be very uncomfortable, they might try to give you advice about seeing a psychiatrist, they might tell you to take a hike.

Schizoid affective personality disordered over here, trying to imagine not being able to imagine is unimaginable. Yeah, I am okay with being God's Fool.
I doubt you have any way of knowing what that entails, but you are talking with one of them fools.

I thank you for guidance. Be as gentle as you can, I've got the kindest of hearts.

I know.
I can't say I ever knew or heard of any being taken over by God being gentle from the taken over's perspective.
Job is a darn good parable to that effect.

I'm not calling on God to be gentle, only his chosen human messenger.
Young Prophet is a vivid example of someone being taken over by God very fast. He is being pushed to his limits, and then some.
How will that turn out? I don't know.

I've reached the range of my life expectancy, my kids are grown and I am more open than ever to being a vessel for God.
"Keep me in your light and on the path I'm to be, Amen."
Vessel, slave, both apply,

I am what I am.
It's what you might become, if God takes you over, that is on the table now.
If that happens, what you are now will die. You will become someone else.
That's what Jesus meant by dying and being born again.

That which you bring forth from within will redeem you.
Was only meaning God.
He said his baptism was not in water but was in fire and spirit, and where do you hear that in Christian churces today?

I've certainly been to the forge enough.
And if it stays inside of you, it will destroy you.

Because the point of existence is to be Big Me using this vehicle.
If you had been to the forge enough, you would not have asked me if you had sinned by taking a much younger man, a boy, as a lover.

I wanted your opinion, truly.
he was not a boy.

My opinion is, you did a lot of rationalizing and it didn't work. if it had, you would not have asked me about it.

And to be fair to me and my account in telling this to you, every time I got online he'd pester me with hey
hey until I finally started actually talking to him, a good while after "meeting" in a spirit science group discussing God.
If you are put into the forge, you will have my sincere condolences

I wanted to hear an out for continuing a romantic relationship that I know damn well has served it's time beautifully and is now over.
Not that it would have mattered, except maybe for a day.
I'm a good slave.
Everyone is a slave to something. Jesus was a slave to God. Look how that went.

Anything temporal is temporary.
non responsive

I'm not being flip, am just well aware.
You will find aware in the forge
I'm doing my darndest to school you in what which you have little experience, but only having the experience can really school you.

No one schooled the nutter who ate the bitter book and saw the freaky ass shit that we know as Revelation.
Seriously not flippant, I'm a good and quick study, well read and in a state of constant communication with that which cannot be named.
Jesus schooled him, but the Holy Spirit, the Divine Feminine, grew him up, and he had no clue what Revelation meant, nor does Christendom today, nor do I.
The forge school is not like anything you can remotely imagine at this point in your life.

Right. At the moment I'm only urged to ask you what you have had to eat this morning and when is the last time you have had fruit.
Or a suggestion to get more fruit going on somehow.
Do you need help with that?
I can no more act on your behalf than our angels can help us without being asked. Other than emergencies.
But if I am given clearance to act on your behalf then of course I will do whatever I am able to.
I do need to increase my fruit intake, grapefruit and banana best historically. What I need help with is living inside. I can buy fruit at grocery stores. And, fruit has metaphysical or metaphor meanings, if it came to you via spiritual guidance. The fruit of the Tree of Life. The fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Be more sweet (nice, kind).

Seriously was only urged to ask if you are getting enough fruit in your diet.
There is no nice or kind way to describe the forge. It is hot as hell, it seems to go on forever, it can scare the bejesus out of you and it is no damn fun.

You may need more kindness bestowed upon you.
Diet is not limited to grocery store food. Diet is much bigger than that. What do we eat daily, what is our daily bread? That's not about apples and oranges. It's about spiritual food.
As is the forge.

I'm thinking.
I'd like to help see you at Home. Will wait for suggestions, am waiting.

I'm receptive.
Do you want the senior housing or does that depress you?
sleeping nights in the police station is rough, senior housing would be my own place inside, with whatever adventures that provides

where are you with that, is it just a matter of waiting now?
Yes,  and they need a few more things from me. Young Prophet just called me. He was given information for me in his sleep last night, about the Birmingham situation, my father's widow, her lawyers, my daughters, all view me as crazy and they will not help willingly, which I already knew, and it's my call whether think it's too much load or too fatal for me to take on my father's estate. Young Prophet is in the forge. Read my writings about that, to get a sense of the forge. I need to get to work putting together today's post.
To do the Birmingham thing right, I need a lawyer there ready, willing and able to do it right.

ok, I need to stretch, and stop questioning how I could possibly be of service and just listen, listen
Be of good cheer, you've been a great steward.
and continue to be
Send money, which I always need more of. If you have a dream or vision about me, let me know.

I'm rarely so fortunate as to remember dream material and hubby and I are living in a seedy motel in MS after losing our home and all possessions last year. But if you have a paypal I will write to my fb people on your behalf. And always would impart any wisdom I'm given in your regard.
My pay pal was messed up because I had to change checking account numbers, I just now closed that pay pal account and opened new one with new checking account, it will take a couple of days or so to get the nominal deposits form pay pal and finish opening the new pay pal account. Will let you know when that's done. Sorry for your situation. Anything you hear or see from "above" for me, or through moving human lips, I'd like to know about it. Thanks

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