Thursday, June 15, 2017

total disconnect - various small screen and Big Screen symptoms

Sleep did not come easily last night. Psychic static. My gut also roiled. Got up 3 times to pee. Was woken up before dawn by feeling someone tugging my hand and the smell of vodka. Kari Dangler. 
The first time ever she was in the police station front lobby when I was sleeping there. It was 5:15 a.m. I was thrilled.
I knew Kari had had a dream about me, which had disturbed her. But getting such a dream out of her is like sticking my hand in a badger's mouth and trying to get it to tell me its dreams.

Kari had had two dreams, it turned out. But she took a while telling me the second dream.

In her first dream, Kari was drawing me on her sketch pad and I died peacefully of natural causes. 

Any dream of me dying drives her nuts. I figured the dream might mean I will die of natural causes, or I might die to Kari in the sense I'm not longer in her life. Hard to relate to someone full of vodka all the time. Who is speaking, who is listening? The person, or the vodka?

Kari's second dream seemed to build on her first dream. She saw men come and get me and tie me to a stake. No firewood under my feet. The men didn't want me to be with her. Then, they killed her by stabbing a sword into her. 

The two dreams really had Kari freaked out. 

The dreams did not freak me out. They were information. 

What freaked me out was being woken up too early after having had so much trouble sleeping last night.

What freaked me out was being woken up to smell vodka.

What freaked me out was being woken up to try to get the badger to tell me what she had dreamt.

What freaked me out was knowing there is a total disconnect on this world between Kari and me.

I had dreamt of her earlier in the night. She was telling me about something she was going to tell me.

In my dreams of Kari we nearly always are allies, in love, friendly. That's the soul picture. This world is the hell picture. The total disconnect.

It was similar with my father and me. On this world, total disconnect. In my dreams, he was the father I had never had.

Perhaps a psychiatrist would say that was my subconscious compensating for what I had not gotten from my father.

A reasonable view, although I have seen too many dreams about things that were going to happen, and how could my subconscious know the future? So, where did those dreams come from?

For example, how did my subconscious know I had an older half-breed brother by my father? 

A dream like that fucks with minds stuck in rebarred concrete. 

A dream like that tells what is really going on. 

I confirmed the older half brother with my father's older brother, in case you think it was just a dream about a fictitious person my two best men friends also were shown in their dreams.

How do human beings cope with any secret they have being vulnerable to someone dreaming about it? They cope by making the dreamer crazy. Dangerous. The alternative is too terrifying to consciously contemplate. A Muslim terrorist is far safer than a skeleton closet disturbing dreamer.

I told Kari this morning that I feel like a spaceman. 

I told her it might be I'm not going to be in Key West.

I told Kari we are in sync in the soul realm, but on this world there is a total disconnect between us, and between people and reality. Kari agreed to the second part, but not to the first part. She said she drinks vodka because God has been bothering her all her life with visions of what's going to happen to other people. I said that is not why she drinks vodka. 
Kari followed me on her bicycle to Harpoon Harry's, where I go every morning after waking up in police station front lobby. I go there to see what is happening online, using Harpoon Harry's wi-fi, as I sit in a cheap lightweight folding chair outside the restaurant. When the restaurant opens at 6:30 a.m., I go inside and eat.

Kari wanted to eat breakfast with me. I figured she had run out of money again; vodka, cigarettes, soft drinks, sweet tea and bottled water had seen to it. She has food stamps, but eating out of grocery store delis, cans and bottles gets old and lonely.

The longer we were together this morning, the more Kari complained about things she could actually do something about, if she really wanted to do something about them. 

People bitching to her about what I write online. She could tell them to fuck off. She could tell them to stop doing things that give me something to write about them. She could stop hanging out with them. 

I told her my job is to cause people to be disturbed. Wherever I am, that is my job. The angels see to it.

Kari complained about men hitting on her all the time, in whom she is not interested.

People stealing her belongings off of her bicycle, because she parks it chained to a pole on a sidewalk and leaves it, because she doesn't like riding it in the wind, in the rain, in the heat.

Her bicycle keeps breaking down, but she won't try to find a used better bicycle.

She hasn't bathed in a week, because she won't ride her bicycle to where she can shower inside for free.

She hangs out with zombies - wasted homeless people. 

I don't have the juice to keep hearing all of that. 

When Kari is around me, she eventually starts something I can't deal with. 

She got loud out in front of Harpoon Harry's this morning, and I got on my bicycle and left her there. Went to the county library and sat on the front steps and went online using their wi-fi. Learned the Key West Citizen ( has gone to a new online format that makes reading it a whole lot harder. Is the Citizen trying to go out of business?

When I came back Harpoon Harry's, Kari had gone. I ate breakfast, went online and checked out what was there. Paid the bill and headed to Sippin' Internet Cafe, which has been my office and living room since late 2000. Four different owners I have known. 
If Sippin' were to close, I would seriously grieve. 

Same if Harpoon Harry's were to close. 
Same if Jack Flats sports bar were to close. 

But if a Category 5 hurricane sunk Key West, I would not grieve except for losing a bunch of darn good friends. 

Recent email back and forth with a Birmingham, Alabama amiga:

Moving laterally ...
I'm reading RUNNER, which I checked out of the county library. If the library closed, I would grieve. 

RUNNER features Jane Whitefield, whose life calling is to help people at risk disappear and start entirely new lives. This is the 3rd Jane Whitefield novel I have read. 

She made a lot of money in other ways and shares her wealth with poor people she helps disappear. 

She is about one-half Seneca Native American. She was taught the old ways when she was a child. She is guided by her dreams and visions. 

Trained in different martial arts. Proficient with gun and knife. An American female ninja. Fuck with the people she is helping, you die.

This passage in RUNNER grabbed me:

"Not everyone who wants to disappear is a victim, and very few are innocent. All I can say is none of them deserved to die." She opened the classified ads again to signify that the topic was closed. 
She didn't have enough patience to try to explain to Christine the proper way to think about money. Among the old people, a person's status had never been determined by how much wealth he could accumulate, but how much he brought back to give away. The way that the first white visitors learned to identify the most powerful Seneca leaders was to look for men who seemed to be the poorest.

How do you think Seneca leaders would sit with Donald Trump? With any Republican? With any Democrat? With any Christian? With any Jew? With any Muslim? With Vladimir Putin? With the King of Saudi Arabia? With Bill Gates? With Warren Buffett? With Ed Swift and Ed Russo, of Key West? With the Key West mayor and city commissioners? With the general population of Key West? And the Florida Keys?  

With Naja and Arnaud Girard, who publish the Key West version of Al Jazeera: Key West the Newspaper,, online, every Friday?
In yesterday's and the day before yesterday's posts at this website, Naja and I did not exactly see eye to eye about illegal immigration.
Washington (AFP) - The special counsel overseeing the probe into Russia's alleged meddling in the US election is looking at whether President Donald Trump tried to obstruct justice, The Washington  Post reported Wednesday, citing unnamed officials.

In a pivotal shift in the investigation that has riveted Americans like no other in decades, senior intelligence officials have agreed to be interviewed by investigators working for the special counsel, Robert Mueller, the Post said.

It quoted five people briefed on the requests and said those who have agreed to be interviewed are Daniel Coats, the director of national intelligence, Admiral Mike Rogers, head of the National Security Agency, and his recently departed deputy, Richard Ledgett.

The interviews could come as early as this week, the Post said.

The newspaper's story was met with a furious reaction from Trump's personal lawyer and the Republican National Committee.

The shift toward investigating the US president began days after Trump fired James Comey as FBI director on May 9, the Post said

The stated focus has been Russia's alleged efforts to tilt last November's presidential election Trump's way, and whether the winner's campaign was involved in any way.

Trump vehemently denies any collusion between himself or any of his associates and Russia.

Mueller, himself a widely respected former head of the FBI, has now taken up the angle of possible efforts by Trump to obstruct justice in the investigation, the Post said.

Quoting officials, the newspaper said one event of interest to Mueller is an exchange on March 22, when Coats told associates that Trump had asked him to intervene with Comey to get him to back off the focus on Trump's former national security advisor Mike Flynn as part of the FBI probe of the Russia affair.
A few days after the March 22 meeting, Trump spoke separately with Coats and Rogers and asked them to issue public statements to the effect that there was no evidence of coordination between his campaign and Russia. The Post said both men refused the president's request.

Trump's personal lawyer Marc Kasowitz issued a statement saying the FBI was behind the Post story and called the leak "outrageous, inexcusable and illegal." The lawyer did not deny the story, however.

Mueller briefed Senators Wednesday on his work.

"I'm going to acknowledge we had a meeting with the special counsel Mueller, but I'm not going to get into the contents," Mark Warner, the ranking Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee, told reporters later.

Republican National Committee chairwoman Ronna McDaniel called the accusation in the Post unfounded and said it "changes nothing."

"There's still no evidence of obstruction, and current and former leaders in the intelligence community have repeatedly said there's been no effort to impede the investigation in any way. The continued illegal leaks are the only crime here," McDaniel said in a statement.

Hmmm, firing the FBI Director investigating your buddies was not obstruction.
My fantasy reality show White House running mate Sancho Panza. a retired scientist fluent in several languages, including Latin, commented on Naja Girard's part of yesterday's post at this website:

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