Tuesday, May 9, 2017

brother's keeper and other chores on the hard rock pile (Key West)

A friend's comment on my brother Major’s gunshot death:


He was shot with a .32 caliber Browning. Depending on how the cartridge- the brass casing, then the primer, cordite/powder, and finally the slug(either a piece of lead, piece of lead semi-coated with a metal jacket, or fully coated with metal aka full metal jacket)- was loaded(the mix of those variables making up the parenthetical list above)- he could have had stippling or not. If he had purchased some poor quality .32 it might not have exited the barrel rifling spinning at the speed to cause it. That was always something that bothered me about Small Yappy Dog's conclusions- he didn't know shit about shooting or ballistics and if you don't- you don't know the forensic effects on what you're doing. I like meat, I don't like killing, I hate for plants or even honey bees to die- but because I like meat and I can't go and buy USDA Venison, I kill a deer every year, strip him, give the hide to a friend who supplies tanned hides, and I live near some First Nations people who do scrimshaw, and I finally give the hooves and anything that won't do a large dog harm, to a large breed dog. But before that happens, I sit down at a press, read Hornaday and Lee's ballistics charts, and I comprise a round to penetrate and kill with maximum efficiency. I consider the barrel length, the rifling ratio, and all the cartridge factors. I read up on the anatomy of the animal, look up the bone structure and the internal organs arrangement. Only then do I make a cartridge. A mass ammo producer will just throw something together, and the average boutique gun buyer buys the best gun for the name recognition and prestige, but buys shitty off the shelf cheap-as-possible ammo- ammo with unpredictable loads, unpredictable ballistics. 

Men have gotten up after being shot with multiple .22, .25, and .32 rounds before. If you have the right ballistic ammo, you can shoot someone with a .22 and it will enter and if you place your shot right, it will bounce around the organs and nick, slice, and chop the insides of a person to pieces, as it plays pinball internally. So a .22 can down a man, but a .32 with crap bulk pack ammo, in a short barrel Browning pistol, and a very short distance between barrel and head, and an unsteady hand- he may have been lucky things went off as they did and he was successful in his attempt. 

The stippling shit is a red herring, really. 

There is a concept called assisted suicide- sometimes it is a doctor, sometimes it is someone pushing a cop to shoot them, maybe sometimes you have someone else who loves you do it- a friend, a lover, whatever. 

Probably the clearest thing that made it a suicide to me- is Sloan's convictions and his premonitions- and secondly the metaphor it appears Major created. Wealth silences a person, eventually. Browning and Beretta are the de-rigeur brands of boutique and collectible handguns, rifles, and shotguns. There is more expensive, but not with the History and Boutique status. Maybe Major was saying that this Golden Flake legacy keeps me from expressing what I want to express, puts me under undue interest in my life from others, so it silences me, because I'm part of this family I can't say GUB is fucking the company all to hell and no one can or will do anything from government to worker, so I am silenced except for working to undermine the Stepmonster, more over my coming from wealth has silenced me, and to undo what has ultimately silenced me in this earthly realm- I need to commit suicide to finally be heard.

God bless him and I hope he is happier and in a better place. 

I replied:

Wonderful, thank you, Joe -

I don't think stippling is red herring when the autopsy said there was stippling. 

Major had tied himself up, but his hands still had some range of motion, enough to shoot himself in the side of the head. 

I, too, have wondered if there was an accomplice.

I would add to your excellent reasons for the "gag" - that Major did not feel safe coming out of the closet about being bisexual. Someone was leaning on him about that. 
An Alabama amiga forwarded something I wrote perhaps a month after Major went missing - Books is Major's son by Major's first wife:

From: sloan bashinsky <keysmyhome@hotmail.com>
To: xxxxxxxx@aol.com>
Sent: Wed, Mar 31, 2010 7:28 am
Subject: RE: Thanks for the email

An Offer to Brooks

Received this on Facebook yesterday, from a Birmingham woman with apparent gifts of the spirit, who started writing to me about a week ago. We probably have exchanged 20 messages each.

I talked to a friend of mine a while ago who is pretty well connected with the theater crowd in B'ham, and he confirmed the fact that Major was living a bi-sexual lifestyle. He did not know this first-hand, but felt like the people who shared this with him - having either hooked up with Major or had him come on to them - were pretty reliable sources.

It's hard for me to imagine Major's wife didn't know about this. He first wife knew he was bi-sexual. She and I talked about it after they broke up. Major knew we talked about it, which I later learned when he told me he knew everything she and I had talked about. I said he could only know that if he'd tapped the phone, and he said nothing.

Later, he told me it was true gay men sometimes came onto him, which his first wife had told me on the phone. He said this without any prompting on my part. Then, he said he wasn't gay, and I said nothing. He knew I didn't believe him. We were meeting once a week at that time (late 1998), and he would not meet with me any more. The next time I saw and spoke with him was our father's memorial service in early September 2005.

A few people, including a journalist, asked me if I thought I could have saved Major, if we had not been estranged? I said maybe I could have talked him through it, if he had come to me. I would have gone straight to it, if he did not tell me what was really going on, but I did not tell the journalist that. What I told the journalist was Major and I once were pretty open with each other and we shared a lot of things we didn't tell other people. But that time had passed, and it might not have made any difference whether we were estranged or not. I did not tell the journalist Major had had his chance to talk with me about his bisexuality and he'd shut me out all the way when he realized I wasn't buying his attempt to deny it.

My Keys friend Sandy Downs had a dream after Major's body was found, before the suicide ruling was made by the forensic pathologist in the county coroner's office and by the Birmingham police. In the dream, Sandy, who in waking life ran for sheriff down here in 2008, was with a dead man's body and two gay women. There were handwritten notes, like from a journal. The notes were written a different times, in different colored inks. The two women didn't seem to think the notes were important. The dead man became disturbed because of that and turned to Sandy and gave the notes to her and told her to keep them safe, they were important. The two women were Major's first and second wives. They did not think his bisexuality was in play over his death. So he gave his journal notes to someone in law enforcement, who knew me.

A number of people, including a Birmingham gay woman I used to date, wrote to me that they couldn't imagine Major killing himself over being outed. I told them not to be naive, and to consider Major's lifestyle, his image in his community, the circles in which he and his wife and children ran. What amazes me is he must have thought he was going to get away with living two entirely different parallel lives and keep the people in his straight life totally in the dark. What amazes me is his second wife seems to keep acting in public as if she is clueless. There is no way she is clueless, no more than there was any way his first wife was clueless. They both knew of Major's parallel life.

What they both should have been thinking, once they knew, was how Major's bisexuality might play out with his sons. This was the question put to me by the spiritually-gifted woman who sent me the Facebook message quoted above. She wanted to know if I thought Brooks, Major's oldest son, was bisexual or gay? She wanted to know if I thought Major had had sex with Brooks? I said I didn't know the answer to her questions, but that night I had a dream that left me feeling the woman's questions should not be ignored out of hand.

This is a terrible thing to be writing. Yet it is known Brooks has lived a tormented life. It is known he talked about killing himself and Major found out about it and got really mad that he had learned about it from Brooks' older sister, instead of from his mother. It is known Major went missing later that same day.

It was suggested to me by Birmingham people that Brooks' suicide talk is what caused Major to kill himself. That was not the reason. Brooks' talk of suicide pushed Major to act on that day, but he was already planning it, which is known from the letter criticizing the Golden Flake dividend. An earlier version of it was found on a flash drive in Major's abandoned car. Furthermore, the Board of Directors [angels] would have told me if Brooks was the reason Major killed himself, and they were silent after I asked them about it. Meaning, Brooks was not the reason.

Brooks needs serious help from someone who is not going to get weird or week-kneed over what starts boiling up out of his subconscious as he goes into the healing. I am the only person I know who has the training and experience to help someone at that level, with a lot of backup from the Board of Directors. For just me alone, by my own wits, would not be anywhere close to sufficient to deal with what this young man heeds help with.

This has nothing to do with Brooks' sexual orientation. It has to do with the massive soul trauma he has experienced, which needs to be dealt with, if he is to survive. This is not something I want to do. But if I don't do it, I don't see it getting done. I have had a lot of experience with soul healing, and I have had a lot of experience with the inadequacies of modern mental health treatment of soul trauma. There is no way mainstream treatment can save Brooks, nor is there any way religion can save him. I'm not even confident I can help him, but I am the only human hope he has of getting help.

It all comes full circle. I tried to help Brooks once before. I tried to persuade Major not to make Brooks a sports extension of himself. Brooks' sports achievements were the most important thing in Major's life. It was as if Brooks was what Major himself had never been, and now Brooks was providing it. It was a form of rape. It was a form of incest. At the level of soul, it was rape, it was incest. It was the same thing I let my father and his father do to me, by bowing to their will that I not become a country lawyer. A decision that came back to haunt me in many terrible ways. A decision I was not able to heal. A decision healed by God being made my father, and my mother, too. For I also experienced physical incest from my mother when I was an infant.

Modern mental health does not even have God in its curriculum. Christendom does not even have a female in its godhead. The god of Christendom is all male. The god of Christendom is homosexual. There is no way such a god can heal a person who has experienced soul rape by a parent. The only thing that can heal such a thing as that is a combination of the divine female and male essence, with which all human babies are born. Male and female alike where they made in God's image, says Genesis.

Only someone with both sides of God fully operational can help someone like Brooks. The male and female are fully operational in me, made so by the Board of Directors, some members of which are Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Archangel Michael, Melchizedek (Jesus and Magdalene both are Melchizedek angels), the Holy Spirit (Shekinah in the Hebrew tradition, gender female), and the Father in the Christian tradition. All are emanations from God. All part and parcel of the Whole, which exists not in Christendom, nor in modern mental health. Or in anything produced by this world.

What I feel needs to happen is Brooks needs to come down to the Keys indefinitely. He needs to get away from Birmingham completely. He needs to have a lot of conversations with me, as I am used to help him transition from the hell in which he now lives, into something else entirely. He will come to think the hell in which he now lives was heaven, as he goes through the healing. He may not be able to endure the healing. He may walk away. But it is his only chance to be healed, because I am the only person in play, who knows the terrain he must traverse well enough to be used to guide him through it.

Brooks will need a place to live. Perhaps he can get my old apartment in Key West, which I believe has not been rented out yet. He will be safe in Key West from the judgments that he has had to endure in Birmingham. Key West is a refuge for people who do not fit in anywhere else. But for it to work, he will have to give up any mind-altering chemicals he may be accustomed to using. Heavy sugar usage, tobacco, alcohol, prescription and street drugs must be discontinued. As must gambling be given up, if that is in play. Angelic help will assist weaning and ease withdrawal.

Brooks will need some sort of work, to keep himself occupied. Angelic help will find that work for him. He will need to meet people who can provide social structure and companionship. Angelic help with make those connections for him. He will have to learn to trust me, even though parts of him will try to convince him I am the devil and have it in for him.

Brooks and I will have many disagreements. He will come to wish he had never met me. But if he sticks with me, if he doesn't bolt and run when the demons from hell rise up in arms in him over and over again; if he can endure the healing episodes, which will terrify him and will seem like there is no end to them, then he will emerge reborn. He will be a new person.

Figure on at least one year. Figure a total cost of $30,000 Brooks will need to get by in Key West during the first year, over and above anything he earns on his own.

This is my offer. What becomes of it is out of my hands. Brooks' mother knows something of my training and experiences. Perhaps she will be inclined to nudge him in my direction, even though it will create serious difficulty for her in other parts of her life.

Brooks' uncle.

P.S. Both of my websites are down right now, due to goodmorningkeywest.com having the bug in it. The two websites were joined on the account with the web link provider, so if one was shut down, the other went down. I hope to have goodmorningfloridakeys.com up and running again before too long. Or maybe I will have to get it built anew. Goodmorningkeywest.com looks like it's going to be history. Perhaps that's how it should be, as I no longer live in Key West and am moving in a new direction. I told someone named Michael, whom I picked up hitchhiking last night and provided him a place to stay overnight, that the websites going down together was a demonic attack over what I have been writing about my brother's disappearance and suicide. Roman Catholic, he had never heard of Melchizedek, although it is the priesthood into which all Roman Catholic priests (and all Anglican priests) are inducted, forever, as stated in the New Testament Letter to the Hebrews, which was anonymously scribed by Mary Magdalene, who knew Jesus best because she was his wife and mother of his child. She did it anonymously because it was known in those days that no one would pay heed to what a woman said. Hebrews provides the only description of the Eternal Order Melchizedek in the Bible, and the torrid initiation of human beings into that priesthood, and says Jesus is high priest in Melchizedek. I have never heard any of that mentioned in a Christian or Catholic church, and I have never met a Christian or Catholic, other than a few Episcopal priests, knew of any of this. I was not trained by a church order or a human priest. I was trained by the Board of Directors directly from the spirit. As I told Michael the hitchhiker last night, the training was horrible beyond belief, and it's still horrible. As I told the spiritually-gifted woman yesterday, if Christendom's churches taught the Letter to the Hebrews, Christendom would be a lot smaller, maybe a whole lot smaller.

A childhood friend responded to yesterday’s post at afoolsworkneverends.blogspot.com:

I would never agree with her, but Bash not even I can understand why you don't just drop the whole damn thing and never again use or insinuate her existence in anything you say or write.  Those of us who still care about you are, I am quite sure, truly sick and tired of hearing or reading about it.

I replied:

I hear you loud and clear, old friend.

There was nothing else in view to write about today.

If I did not agree to her take down notice, she would have sued me again. She might have sued me again anyway. She might have continued trying to get me prosecuted criminally anyway. 
Maybe I hope she will have someone bump me off. Like I have any reason to want to stay on this planet. Living the way I do changes how I see just about everything. 

Maybe I am bored and she is not boring.

Maybe there is nothing else going on that I want to do, other than read novels, play chess, talk with people about stuff nobody in Key West wants to hear about, or know. 

Maybe I'm crazy.

Maybe angels are leaning on me.

Maybe the best defense, and offense, is to keep her in the spotlight.

Maybe she will have a fatal heart attack. 

Maybe I will.

Maybe that pretty well covers it.


[A mainland reader friend told me yesterday’s post was hilarious, and she didn't recall seeing anyone so full of hate and violence as the nice lady who sued me.]

Old childhood friend wrote:

Hey cheer up.  Go rob a bank and treat yourself tons might out at Michael’s on Margaret, not your old man’s old haunt with the Coach. 

I replied:

Gosh, I read your recommendation and wished I still had my .38 Smith & Wesson, or my Ithaca 12 gauge pump. For the robbery, or to hasten my departure from this here planet.  For sure, I can't afford Michaels. Ate vittles there one time at a political event some candidate was hosting. Vittles like in snacks, not a regular meal. A bit too upscale for me. Even when I had money, I tended to not eat in upscale restaurants. If I was paying.

I could view your suggestion as trying to rob my father's estate of some money I will get anyhow, if I live long enough. So, would it even be robbery? Take it with me to some place the Feds have trouble getting their way. Maybe I'm to use Archangel Michael as an accomplice. As opposed to Bear Bryant. Although I bet the Bear would be a pretty good fellow to have in my foxhole, if he set his mind to it. I wonder what it's like for my father where he is now, looking at what he left behind? I wonder if he and Bear are tossing a few down the hatch around sundown? I suppose that's in the future for me to know.
Sancho Panza replied to yesterday’s  post:

Don't you see that she's setting you up for another lawsuit?   She's like the TERMINATOR and you are sooooo predictable... she's playing you again!

I replied:

I think she was going to sue me no matter what, and try to get me arrested and prosecuted.

Might be she wanted me to take it down so she could show law enforcement or a court what she wanted them to see and I didn't have the originals any more.

Hard to know what she is thinking until it is seen

More on this tomorrow

Sancho wrote:

I meant that you could have just ignored her recent email communications and not publish them!  Why do exactly what she expects you to do? Whatever her game, you're playing alone.

I replied this morning:

If, in fact, and I have every reason to believe she is trying to get Alabama, Florida and Federal law enforcement on me, same if she is trying to get a lawyer to take her case, I felt it was a good idea to give them something to look at beside what she was telling them. If they wanted something to look at. I also wanted something for a judge to look at: her emails and my responses.

Young Prophet called me yesterday afternoon and told me he'd dreamt I was walking on the road in front of the courthouse down here and I saw a bomb and watched it blow up and I turned and walked away, and after a few steps I was grinning.  

Beyond all of that, it would be a jolt, given how big a part of my life publishing daily has been for a l-o-n-g time, but I might get over not having to do that daily. I might get happy writing a novel, for example. If one might be lurking inside of me. 

I asked someone yesterday, how many city commission meetings
do I have to attend and report on, which no longer make my dick hard and cause me to want to go outside and fuck a tree, before I don't do that anymore?

Perhaps Haney's mission is to redirect me elsewhere. For sure, I can't say I see that I've had any significant impact on Key West or the Florida Keys. I have gotten known here, that's not what I'm talking about. I mean, I did not impact the way things went. It was a waste of breath, in that sense.

It would be a lot more fun, perhaps, to pick a national topic on the front burner and play with it each day. Less chance of getting sued, too. But Perhaps as much, if not more, chance of being criminally prosecuted.

American patriots notwithstanding, whoever outed Hillary and the DNC did America a favor. The truth needed to come out. Turned out the Democrats were just as allergic to the truth as the Republicans and Trump, who is not a Republican, but they are convenient to him, so he became one ostensibly.  

It sure was a bummer to wake up this morning and still be on this planet.

Nothing new.
From the May 5 bigpinekey.com popular Coconut Telegraph public forum:

[Sloan Innocent] Circuit Court Judge Bonnie Helms issued a ruling Friday to strike all motions and responses in a lawsuit filed by Leeds, Alabama resident Judith Haney seeking a restraining order along with punitive and compensatory damages from Bashinsky for alleged libel, invasion of privacy and cyberstalking. Bashinsky and Haney represented themselves in the case and made approximately 200 filings between the original complaint on Dec. 30 and the hearing on March 31. Haney is “very likely refile the case,” she said. [condensed from article by Scott Unger, Key West Citizen)
[Deer Ed Sued] Deer Ed, Just tell that hillbilly girl from Alabama that we don’t adhere to her rules and regulations. We aren’t the South. We succeeded from them hillbillies a long time ago. If that doesn’t work, pull your Cuban bread out on the bitch and show her you mean business. Don’t waste money on a lawyer. If you had a good one he would have gotten you off by now with a defense just like this one. As far as Sloan, his actions speak for themselves.
[Deer Ed Sued] Deer Ed, Just tell that hillbilly girl from Alabama that we don’t adhere to her rules and regulations. We aren’t the South. We succeeded from them hillbillies a long time ago. If that doesn’t work, pull your Cuban bread out on the bitch and show her you mean business. Don’t waste money on a lawyer. If you had a good one he would have gotten you off by now with a defense just like this one. As far as Sloan, his actions speak for themselves.
Deer Ed Sued] I’ve watched every episode of Law & Order since it first began back in 1992. I’ve studied every court proceeding of every episode meticulously. I’m willing to represent Deer Ed free of charge during this court drama he’s facing. “Objection your honor”, “Leading the witness your honor”, “Hearsay your honor”, “Hypothetical cross examination, your honor” Will be most of the vocabulary I will be using to get you off Scott free.
[Deer Ed Sued] You can always start a new CT with a Sign In notice stating no liabilities, etc! (Ed: Thanks, but you can’t waiver responsibility. I’m learning libel law the hard way.)

[Deer Ed Sued] Dear Ed, Sing this out loud, it may cheer you up: Lawyers… what are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again… good God almighty… (unless you need one to defend against another one)

[Sloan Homeless] If Sloan really didn’t want to be homeless he’s get a job as a law clerk or some menial job, from a lawyer, writing briefs or just simple legal documents. If he really didn’t want to be homeless he could work washing dishes. Homeless people are homeless because they have mental problems. Will Sloan admit he has mental problems (“they” never do).


I’ve been working for a Law Firm since before I arrived in Key West in late 2000.

Maybe I should ask the Senior Partners to start paying me a living wage in exchange for all the hard work I do, which would kill anyone else I know in about 5 minutes. Work that lays me low most of the time. I’m dozing off while I’m writing this, after maybe 4 hours sleep last night.

I could wash dishes until hell freezes over and not make a living wage for Key West. But after maybe a hour I’d poop out and have to try to find some place to lie down and recover.

Right now, what I’d love to give the nice person who wrote that Sloan slam is my G.I. tract. Then, I’d like to watch him keep the Coconut Telegraph informed on his running through all his money on useless doctors, getting turned down for Social Security disability, being evicted from his home, spending nights at KOTS, eating at the soup kitchen and using food stamps. Then, a nice lady from Leeds, Alabama takes pity and offers to house and feed him, and he gladly accepts. Then, the bloom leaves the rose and he keeps the Coconut Telegraph informed about her suing him.

LOL, Deer Ed publishing it.

This morning before dawn, I took down all but the two previous posts at afoolsworkneverends.blogspot.com. Later today, I will take down Facebook posts, and I will ask Deer Ed to remove from the Coconut Telegraph anything he published, which I wrote about the nice lady from Leeds.


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