Thursday, June 22, 2017

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

dingy is as dingy does and other damn fool confoundments

As I sat through last night's city commission meeting listening to one agenda item after another being discussed, and voted on if it was an action item, I saw elected officials struggling to make what they felt were best decisions given all circumstances, and I saw myself feeling disconnected.

A local attorney I know pretty well, said out in the hall that it was like watching Niagara Falls. 

Turned out he was there to represent the local Christian Science church's objection to a new alcoholic beverages outlet being built near the church. A city ordinance prohibits that within so many feet of a church, unless there is a compelling reason to allow it. No compelling reason to allow it was presented by the proponents (the proposed owner of the new business and city staff.) The proposed owner of the new business had bought the property knowing of the city ordinance. I figured the "variance" would be allowed because of how compelling booze is to the city's economy. I figured right.

I dunno, each day, I feel more disconnected from Key West, even as plenty still happens here. Maybe it's a phase of the moon. Maybe it's the summer solstice, the coming of the dark, which began yesterday. Maybe I'm going to be living somewhere else? I haven't a clue what lies ahead. 

I had no clue what wishing my older daughter happy birthday on Facebook two days ago would spawn. You can read about the beginning of that in yesterday's post at this website:

no place for hate, where is that? cuckoo's nests come in various guises


Sancho Panza reacted to my older daughter's and my part of yesterday's post:

Wow, you are either a  big lying sack of merda or your family is really, really too weird!!!!  Your daughter had to be told on Facebook that you are homeless? Give me a break!

A true lover of wisdom has hands too busy to hold on to anything! He learns by doing and every pebble in the path becomes her teacher!  Oink

I replied:

I have not talked with my family about my living situation. I don't ask them for help. Both of my daughters and their mother are Facebook friends and get Facebook notices of my daily posts which they can open and read. Their mother knows of my situation from having read some of what I publish. My daughter Nelle opened the door by saying she hoped I am doing well. So, I told her how I'm doing. The weird thing for me was her reply suggesting I get psychiatric treatment. How would that get me off the street? The pills might ensure my becoming psychotic or/and dead. I needed to see her response. She needed to see my situation and my response to her, which continued after I published today, when I addressed her question about shelters here, which I overlooked doing the first time around. 

Way I see it. I'm her father. As such, I have responsibility to speak to her, at times, as her father. Even if it is beyond her comfort zone. It was my doing that in 2000, with her younger sister, that caused both of them to shut me out of their lives until about 2 years ago. 

My older  daughter has had a long struggle in recovery. She's been sober a long time. She has some sense of God. Or, Higher Power. I don't sense that with her younger sister or their mother, so I don't speak with them in the same way.

Back in 2004, their mother told me my father and his 2nd wife sent her every letter I sent my father, for her opinion on my state of mind. She has a PhD in Psychology. Doesn't work in that field, though. 

You should know by now, old friend, that I don't B.S., unless I'm being sarcastic and making a joke to make a point, or using a metaphor for same purpose. 

In fact, the birth of my oldest daughter's first child was stalled until it got squared away on my side. I knew that incoming soul was at risk to spirit attack because of what I was involved in. The spiritual warfare in the dream was real. Perhaps shown to me artistically, metaphorically. But it was real. That new soul needed that help for that child to be born.

I don't suppose any of that is conducive to me ever being close to my daughters again in this life. I don't expect ever to have a relationship with their husbands and children.

My daughters have blue plate educations. Bryn Mawr graduates. My younger daughter is a eye surgeon, specializing in children. Her husband is an eye surgeon. Her first husband was a medical doctor. My older daughter's husband is a college graduate.

Not uneducated people. Gobs of friends. I'm a spaceman, at best, in their social/business/religious circles.

Sancho wrote:

Sorry, Sloan, I don't relate or cannot relate to all that... my wife has a brother living in the DR who is diabetic, blind, living off his SS disability pension, not that much more than what you get...  she talks with him all the time and he keeps in touch with all family members so that he knows everything that's happening here, sometimes before she knows about it. I am  not impressed with your daughters... they should know what's happening  to you and be able to help you by providing a way for you to live off the streets, maybe a bribe-donation to a local shelter in KW  or an old RV and vouchers for food... something  other than "advice".  It's sad that you have all become such strangers to each other......  

I replied today:

Morning, Sancho 

Well, yes, it's strange, yet strange is my life in most ways, as you know, and as you also know, few people who know me, or know of me, relate to most of what I experience. Even my spellcasting witch friend, who has been hearing from other realms all of her life, is confounded for much the same reasons you are about my daughter's response to me.

Let's see. You see a homeless man lying in the street after being knocked down in a pedestrian crossing trying to get to the other side with his bicycle. You say to him, if you were seeing a psychiatrist and were on meds, then this would not have happened to you. If you had a  job washing dishes for $10 an hour, this would not have happened to you. If you were saved by Jesus, this would not have happened to you. If you had maintained communication with your family, this would not have happened to you.

Real poetry here. My daughter suggests I get up off the pavement and see a psychiatrist. Judith Haney, after suing me for reporting how she dealt with me, offered to settle if I would see a psychiatrist - on my dime, if a free one was not around.

God works in mysterious ways. The angels changed me so much that I no longer think like I once did. What bugs other people tends not to bug me. What bugs me tends not to bug other people. 

But for me and Archangel Michael, my daughter's first daughter might have been born seriously impaired. Or dead. Who knows what other help the two of them received because they are my blood kin, and they will never connect those dots, unless they are woken up, which is not in my hands.

All I can do is love them, wish them well, worry what the karma might end up being. I suppose my granddaughters will be spared karma for what I imagine they know nothing. Yet, if I were their age, I might wonder about my mother's father, who is he really? 

Right now, they have no clue. Nor does their mother. Nor does my younger daughter and her children. 

My father's father used shunning to try to control his blood descendants. The parents of my daughters' mother were not like that. 

In 2004, when I stayed about 2 months with a friend in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where I had gone to law school, where my first wife had moved back to live with our daughters, my first wife twice sicced lawyers on me because she was terrified I was going to harm her. I had never threatened her. She was nuts. With a PhD in psychology. That was when she told me my father and stepmother were using her to advise her about me.

The fellow I was staying with was a lawyer. He knew my daughters. My first wife told me she knew everyone in Tuscaloosa and she had never heard of him. He was the chief assistant public defender. Wrong side of the tracks, perhaps. Both of the lawyers sicced on me called him to ask about me, since they knew from their client, my first wife, that I was staying with him. 

The first lawyer ended up apologizing to my friend for calling him.

The second lawyer was the sister-in-law of my first wife, the sister of my oldest daughter's husband.

The second lawyer's husband and law partner apologized to my lawyer friend, said he had told his law partner wife to stay out of it, my first wife had many problems.

I wrote his law partner wife a letter, offering to come to her law office so she could size me up. She did not respond.

I wrote my first wife a letter reporting all of that, because she needed to know what she was not being told by her lawyers. I asked her where she got being like that? She did not get it from her parents, I said.

During that time, awful boils came up in my nose and one ear. The poison in that situation I was addressing for all concerned.

Today I  have a cordial but "hands off" relationship with all three of them (mother and daughters). From 2000 to 2015, there was nothing. 

My close friends kept beating me up about not trying to repair that. They meant well, but had no clue what was really in play.

C'est sera c'est sera

Ciao

Here again is what my oldest daughter wrote to me:

Dad - I'm so sorry to learn that you are homeless again. This worries me. I understand that you are frustrated with the family estate, but this appears to be something that cannot be changed. Can we review the resources that are available to you? Social security, medicare - local shelters? Are you willing to seek psychiatric care? I know that this is something that you have not wanted to consider for a long time. I have tried to respect your feelings on that for many years, but it is my hope that you will reconsider that now.

Here is what I wrote to her yesterday about "local shelters", after I published yesterday post at this website:

TUE 12:21PM

As for shelters here, the city built its shelter in 2004, because it knew I would put the city into federal court in Key West, if the city kept having its police harass and even arrest homeless people for sleeping outside at night. I'm banned from that shelter for life because of what I published about it and the people running it when I stayed many nights there in 2015 and early 2016. They said the reason for the ban was I had threatened on my blog to kill homeless people. I thought they should see psychiatrists, or priests, because what I published was many homeless people here would be better off dead than continuing living as they were living, drinking and otherwise drugging themselves into oblivion.

I have heard quite a few reports from homeless people who were told by their physicians to stay away from the city's homeless shelter, because it's a good place to get really bad sick. One homeless man told me the doctor who ran the free medical clinic told him that he didn't know why the county health department had not closed the city's shelter. I reported all of that at my websites, and stuff about the stuff the people running it, which they ought not to have done.

Besides medical danger at the shelter, probably 90 percent of the clients are active heavy users of alcohol. Perhaps 1/3 of those used spice, or something else, say marijuana, cocaine, crack, meth, etc. They are not chemically screened to get into the shelter. Unless they are knee-walking, they are allowed in for the night. Most of the users load up before entering the gate, hoping what they have in them will carry them through the night. They help that by loading up on coffee with lots of sugar, soft drinks, donuts, cigarettes, etc.. Probably half of the clients are mentally ill, have diagnosis; but few are on meds, it seems, given their loud talk, often aggressive; and sometimes aggressive physical behavior. I suppose you can try to imagine what it's like for a recovering, clean addict, or someone who does not drink or use, that's me, to go into the shelter say about 7 p.m., early enough to be assured of getting a sleeping space, and hang out there until light's out, with all of that den going on. The TV is turned up all the way, and still it's hard over the crowd talk to hear the TV - actually, movies run through the TV. The sleeping areas after lights out, at 11 p.m., are a lot quieter, but you never know when a client is going to start talking loud, or hollering in his sleep, or light up a cigarette in the sleeping dorm, which is not allowed. Or just talking with another client, to hell with it being lights out and quiet time.

The FEMA trailer which contains the combined shower/toilet stalls is falling apart; the floors and toilets are filthy most of the evening; there is no place in there to hang fresh clothes while stripping down to shower; the hot water runs out quickly. It's a regular club med. The soup kitchen now serves there, and if you don't stay there at night, you cannot be there to eat what the kitchen delivers. If you are banned from the shelter, you are banned from the soup kitchen. I ate meals most days at the soup kitchen, good food mostly. Now everything I eat is in restaurants of some kind, because I have no place to prepare grocery store bought food. I perhaps have forgotten what it's like to sleep on a mattress.

I have a place where I can take cold showers daily, for free; that's fine now, but a challenge during the winter.

There is a non-profit which provides half-way house program for recovering addicts. You have to get paying work and pay rent. I have stayed there in the past, but it's tough being around dry addicts, and dry house monitor addicts, who are not nearly as well adjusted as the non-profit's glossy brochure indicates. They don't do the work I do as work. If they lived in my skin and felt the work I do, they would pray to die. Instead, they mock me. Think I should let a psychiatrist have at me and turn me into a zombie again. That's what I was on the pills. A zombie. The terror was, I knew I was a zombie. I knew the pills were half of it; I knew angels were the other half. I knew they had done something that felt like my soul had nearly died. When they decided that was enough, they brought me out of it, and got me away from psychiatry.

I gave up years ago making money with what I write. I tried that many times, and it never worked. I was not making money practicing law, and it was killing me, which is why I quit. I doubt going back to that would make any difference, and I'd have to live in Alabama do try to go back to it, because there I can get my law license reactivated pretty easily. I'd have to the the Florida Bar and pass it, and before that, pass a strenuous background check, to practice law in Florida. I know a number of lawyers down here pretty well, and i can't see them wanting me working in their offices even as a law clerk.
I have washed dishes in a restaurant. I know how to do it. But I cannot physically stand up to it. Even if I could, $8 or so an hour does not pay the rent here. I'd still be homelessIn the sense that I don't depend on homeless people to pay the bills, which the shelters do, I am the resident homeless expert here. I just call it what it is. I don't worry about losing a grant, because I don't have a grant. I don't worry about getting fired, because I don't get paid by a shelter. Don't get paid by my Employer, either. That would be my Higher Power. It's really funny, in a bizarre way.

Nelle, I don't look for, or expect a reply. You asked about shelters, the answer is not simple, there are several "departments" in that topic. The city has to let me sleep nights in the police station front lobby, because the city will not let me stay in its shelter. Or rather, the city will not make the non-profit running the shelter let me stay there at night. It's closed during the day.

I have told the city many times that it needs two facilities to house homeless people at night. One for homeless people who are chemical free. One for the rest, which is a about 90 percent of them. I have told the city that it is cruel and unusual punishment to house clean homeless people with wasted homeless people. A county commissioner who is a clinical psychologist and once ran the main rehab program down here, for profit, for mainstream and homeless people, agrees with me that you don't mix clean homeless people with homeless who are using, if trying to turn around homeless people is the goal. If that's not the goal, then ... The city's "backup" shelter is the county jail, in which city police put homeless people for offenses only enforced against homeless people. Drinking in public. Sleeping in public. Trespassing. Etc.

 
Jesus with leper

Moving laterally ...

As I was putting that above together, I got to thinking about all the money my daughters will inherit from my father, if I die before I get it. Or they will get from me, if I live long enough to get it.

Then, I got to thinking about my father's widow (2nd wife) and his law firm and trustees not wanting to help me out with an early modest partial distribution of a my share of that loot. I got to thinking about my father's trusted stewards being church people, saved by Jesus. 

I got to thinking about this in Matthew:

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

And in Luke:

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a snake?

I got to think about Jesus being homeless during his ministry and of this in Matthew 25:

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

I got to thinking those passages need to be sent to the church people my father entrusted with his worldly affairs.

sloanbashinsky@outlook.com




Tuesday, June 20, 2017

no place for hate, where is that? cuckoo's nests come in various guises

Yesterday morning at Sippin' Internet Cafe, where I put together each day's ravings at this website, featured a woman I'd never seen before, as far as I knew. She spent about an hour talking pretty loud at another man sitting at a different table from hers. Talking at. She talked, every now and then he said, yes,no, uh uh, that must have been tough. She had no clue she was wearing him out. She did not grok that his breeding and kindness restrained him from asking, or telling, her to please be quiet, he did not care to be talked at like he was a target in front of a machine gun. She said goodbye to him and everyone else in Sippin' many times, before she left. I have see the same thing happen in Sippin' from time to time, and elsewhere. The person talking at has no clue what it's like for the person talked to. And for any bystanders. The talker at is stuck in high gear, overdrive, the masculine. The inner feminine is dormant, or dead.
Last night in the police station front lobby shortly after I laid down on a bench for a long nap soon became interesting. An anxious young man came into the lobby and used the house telephone to request police assistance with what an old high school friend, now a new Facebook friend, was posting on Facebook, which the anxious young man viewed as homicidal and or suicidal. It took a very patient Key West police officer about half hour to view the suspect on Facebook and then convince the anxious young man there was nothing KWPD could do about what someone living in San Antonio was posting on Facebook. The patient police officer gave the anxious young man a couple of telephone numbers to call today, along with a suggestion the anxious young man call San Antonio law enforcement. Each time it seemed the officer had finished what he had to say, the anxious man went back into it. When the anxious young man finally got around to saying goodbye, he said it several times. 

I laid low throughout. Pretended to be asleep. Thinking it had to do with the movie I saw yesterday afternoon. Thinking the anxious young man is seriously disturbed and it's likely to get worse. 

What on earth caused the anxious young man to think KWPD could do something about what goes on in San Antonio?

Moving laterally in the local international funny farm ...
One of my dreams last night featured Kari Dangler with someone behind me, who was butt-fucking me. I woke up thinking that might have to do with my colon feeling riled up all night, which might have to with a line in the movie Kari and I saw yesterday afternoon at Tropic Cinema, in which an insane asylum inmate escapee tells her sister inmate escapee that a prominent man likes having his butt fucked. The angels have no shame when they design dreams for me. 

Kari had been given a free pass to the film. When she realized it was subtitled, she went to sleep. I told her after the film ended that I thought parts of it would have really affected her. More about "Like Crazy" shortly.

Just a bit ago, Kari called to report a man she did not know harassing her at a bus top in upper Key West, and between harassing her, he went out an laid down in North Roosevelt Blvd and stopped traffic. She called 911, but by the time the city police arrived, the man had gotten up and walked away.

Yesterday, I sent a private Facebook birthday message to my oldest daughter, with her husband in the photo.
 
Nelle's husband is the son of one of my favorite law school professors, who was Jewish. Nelle converted to Judaism some years after marrying into that family. Her husband is the Athletic Director of a Southeastern Conference university. Before that, he was the school's head baseball coach. He had played baseball there. He had been a college all-American and had played for all the marbles in the College World Series, and his came came in 2nd. He had coached at several other colleges, before returning to his alma mater. He won SEC coach of the year honors at two different SEC colleges. His alma mater team went to the College World series a couple of times, nearly won the title one year, coming in 2nd. Great kid, young man, father, husband, coach. He encouraged his players to attend church. I imagine he is a great athletic director. 

My part of this Facebook thread is in blue background:

MON 6:25PM

Sloan
Happy Birthday, Nelle
Nelle
Thanks Dad. Really happy to still be here  How are you?

Sloan

As Dr. Leo once told me when I asked him that same question: I'm waiting on the Lord to take me, Meanwhile, this fond flashback showed up in my FB timeline today. [stern of an offshore fishing boat off of Islamorada, Florida Keys, circa 1978]

Nell
One of my all time favorites

Nelle
Belated father's day wishes to you Dad...Hope you are doing well.

Sloan
Well is relative, Nelle. Depends on different factors. Some beyond our/my ken. I live on the street, sleep nights in the police station front lobby. That's not considered well by anyone I know. My body is old and creaky, which is normal for nearly 75. Some of my body parts work better, or worse, than other of my body parts. My "Higher Power" works me really hard day and night. I write about parts of that daily at afoolsworkneverends.com. Probably a good thing I live in an insane asylum (Key West), where the inmates are allowed to run around free more or less. Saw "Like Crazy" last night at the local homegrown cinema. Italian subtitled Cannes Film Festival award film set in a mostly kind cuckoo's nest, with acute sideshows experienced by the two lead lady temporary escapees. Americans don't make the kind of films Europeans make. 
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/04/movies/like-crazy-review.html

"Cultural sensitivity about mental illness has increased to the extent that using a psychiatric hospital or its residents as metaphors for society in general is considered in bad taste, at least. But either nobody has told this to the Italian film director Paolo Virzì, or he just doesn’t care. The analogy he draws between Italy and two initially opposed women in an institution is the linchpin of his “Like Crazy,” an energetic, visually attractive but ultimately irritating comedy-drama."


Sloan

"Beatrice is a motor-mouthed fantasist, a self-styled billionaire countess who likes to believe she's on intimate terms with world leaders. Donatella is a tattooed introvert, a fragile young woman locked in her own" mystery. They are both patients at the Villa Biondi, a progressive but secure psychiatric clinic. Paolo Virzì's new film tells the story of the unpredictable and moving friendship that develops between the two women as they flee the mental institution in search of love and happiness in the open-air nuthouse - the world of sane people.

https://www.tropiccinema.com/movie/like-crazy-la-pazzo-geoia/

7:59AM

Sloa

I suppose I should be glad I somehow became a poet, otherwise I might not find it hilarious that I might be the riche$t homeless man ever – on the hoof.
When Joann Bashinsky dies, I, and my siblings (or their surviving children, pro rata) each receive $1,000,000. That $1,000,000 is vested. If I die before Joann, my estate still receives $1,000,000 at her death. [Joann is my father's 2nd wife.]
About 5 years from the date of the sale of Golden Flake [my father's potato chip/snack food company] to Utz last fall, I become ¼ owner of SYB, Inc., a family corporation set up by my father in the late 1970s to reduce his estate’s taxes. SYB, Inc. owns appreciated common stocks and the after tax proceeds from the sale of Golden Flake to Utz. I figure the gross value of SYB, Inc. (before taxes) is about $100,000,000. If I die before my ¼ interest passes too me, then my 1/4th goes to you and Alice, in equal shares.
My efforts to get some of my share of that golden loot given to me early were rebuffed by my father’s lawyer, John McKleroy, with whom I attended law school and tax law school at the University of Alabama School of Law. McKleory said my father’s estate documents, which McKleroy drew up, do not allow for early distribution. Behind the scenes, McKleory takes orders from Joann, who is getting all of the income produced by SYB, Inc. Over $1,000,000 a year as the owner of the SYB, Inc. preferred stock.
That’s on top of the additional chunk Joann gets annually from the marital trust under my father’s last will and testament, and the $14,000,000 cash he left her directly under a late 2004 codicil to his last will and testament, when he was on a morphine or something like that pump for pain and getting round the clock care from hired caretakers in his home, was my understanding. He came to me in a dream after he died and asked me to challenge the $14,000,000 bequest. Instead, I asked Joann to give it to my father’s grandchildren and his unclaimed first child, my half-brother Travis. Joann blocked me out of her email account. I let it go.
After the sale of Golden Flake to Utz for 3 times what Golden Flake stock was trading for, I proposed to McKleroy that the after tax proceeds be used to start paying the SYB, Inc. common stockholders (my father’s children and his deceased’s children’s children) a dividend. Up to then, no dividend was paid on the SYB, Inc. common stock. Common stock dividends are paid to the SYB, Inc. secondary beneficiaries, me, my sister, Major and Suzanne's children. That offer was rebuffed, and McKleroy refused to pass my proposal on to my sister and the surviving children of Major and Suzanne.
If you think I think the Devil is running my father’s estate, you are correct. You are also correct if you think I think the people running my father’s estate are insane in a way psychiatry does not recognize, but God does. But that’s how my father set his estate up to be run, and he chose the people to run it for him. Like people who voted for Donald Trump are responsible to God for that, my father is where the buck stops in his estate plan.
If I don’t tell you these things, Nelle, and that Joann has long wanted me dead, then you will not likely ever know the truth.
If I told you the laundry list of things reborn Christian and proud of it Joann did with McKleory and his law firm’s and my father’s help, which was given to me to challenge, you would throw up.
Jane [my second wife] witnessed much of it. Major’s oldest child could tell you about a lot of it. She and I talk on the phone from time to time. She’s a stitch. Had to deal with what you had to deal with, which is anonymous. I think you and she might really hit it off. Her younger brother is lost, for now.


9:36AM

Nelle
Dad - I'm so sorry to learn that you are homeless again. This worries me. I understand that you are frustrated with the family estate, but this appears to be something that cannot be changed. Can we review the resources that are available to you? Social security, medicare - local shelters? Are you willing to seek psychiatric care? I know that this is something that you have not wanted to consider for a long time. I have tried to respect your feelings on that for many years, but it is my hope that you will reconsider that now.

Sloan
I'm getting Social Security retirement: $860 a month. I have Medicare/Medicaid. There is nothing else available. If you'd had the experiences with psychiatry I had, you'd understand in your bones why I should not go that route again. I met Nurse Rached and a psychiatrist just like her, in the flesh. Two such psychiatrists, actually. The pills nearly killed me, and would have if I had taken them any longer. As it was, without supernatural help, I would not have survived the withdrawal I was directed in dreams to do, along with the weaning schedule, which, it turned out, was the same weaning schedule my psychiatrist at that time advised, not knowing I was already on that schedule for two weeks. He was okay. For a psychiatrist. He was who told me Joann wanted me dead. He decided that after meeting with her and my father, just the three of them.

You probably never will believe, Nelle, anything I tell you about what my life really is like, and I understand that, because that is far beyond the range of your own personal experience. I will tell you one story, which I told John when he called to tell me Jordan was born. I doubt John remembers this, but I bet Betty Jackson [my then wife] does, as she knew of it and she did not doubt any of it, and she was a licensed clinical social worker with a pretty big private practice.

You were late delivering Jordan [her first daughter]. A date was set for a cesarean delivery, if you did not deliver naturally. I told Betty the baby wasn't coming because I was not ready for the baby to come. The day the cesarean was scheduled, I took a nap and dreamed of seeing a dark reddish black sky of hordes of not nice looking things flying all over everywhere. Then into the dream in front of me appeared a huge white being with big white wings, and then proceeded salvo after salvo of rainbows and purple balls fired at the hordes, until they all were gone. I came out of the dream. John called a little while later to say I had a granddaughter. Natural delivery. Betty had no doubt that dream of mine and your delivery were part and parcel of the same transaction.

I'm to ask a psychiatrist to help me with that kind of experience, which is but one of thousands of such experiences of that kind I have had, and will continue to have? Nelle, psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, addiction counselors, have come to me asking for help. When the help came, it rattled their trees. It was not of this world. And they knew it.

Actually, there might be something that can be done about my father's estate, but it will take a lawyer in Birmingham, or nearby, with steel in his spine and blood to attempt it. There probably are not a handful of lawyers in Alabama who will sue a law firm.

All my best to you, John and your daughters.


In the national cuckoo's nest, you can open the link below to see the many disturbed reader comments to the article further below, all of which reveals a nation plainly divisible, not under God, in a heap of hurt, angst, fear, and terror. A veritable national cuckoo's nest.
http://www.capitolhillblue.com/node/66733?hl=1&noRedirect=1


June 20, 2017 / Welcome to the Oldest Political News Web Site on The Internet.

Former Trump supporters walk away in disgust



Less love, more hate now for Trump.
Donald Trump — under investigation, under suspicion and underwhelming in his failing presidency continues to drop in approval ratings as the number of his supporters and once-faithful continue to diminish.
new poll by the Associated Press-NORC Center of Public Affairs now finds that 64 percent of American disapprove of his job as President.  Only 35 percent approve.
Reports Jenna Johnson of The Washington Post:
Trump is struggling to keep his viewers engaged. Governing turns out to be less entertaining than the spectacle of a political horse race — especially when complicated by conflict-of-interest scandals, a widening criminal inquiry and a policy agenda bogged down by infighting and partisanship.
“He has an arrogance to him that I think sometimes makes it difficult for people to receive his message the way he wished they would receive it,” Stacey Cotton, whose mother was a die-hard supporter of Trump, tells the Post.
Amber Resnik says she voted for Trump “because he was the least of the worst” of the Presidential offerings in 2016.  “He turned out to be the worst.  I regret my vote.”
Same for Caroline DePell, who lives near Collinsville, Illinois, not far from Belleville, where James T.  Hodgkinson, who shot a Congressman and four others in Northern Virginia last week, lived .
“I fell for his con,” he says.  “He lured me in with his promises and his words.  His promises and his words are lies.  He’s a duplicitous bastard.”
Sam Rollins wondered why his fundamentalist, evangelical minister endorsed Trump:
Trump is a self-admitted adulterer, an abuser of women, a thrice-married sexual sadist who bragged about his affairs while married and a man who let Howard Stern call is daughter a ‘great piece of ass’ and agreed with that assessment.  How does someone like that get the endorsement of a preacher?
Audrey Galloway says her dislike of Hillary Clinton made Trump “the only option.”
“I should have voted for Hillary,” she says now.  “I now see her as the better choice.  I see it too late, unfortunately.”
“Donald Trump dropped an emotional anchor,” Tania Vojvoic, who founded one of his first volunteer campaign networks, tells Politico.  “He captured how Americans feel.  We expect him to keep his word, and right now he’s not keep his word.”
“I expected to be back producing coal by now,” says Annie Bivens of Wise County, VA, home of coal country in Southwestern Virginia.  “I’m not.  Things are getting worse. Like all the others, Donald Trump lied to us. To hell with him.”
Earlier this year, more than 60 percent of white Americans who lack college degrees strongly supported Trump.  Now, polls show that base has dropped to 46 percent and is going down.
“The next guy with an AK who comes to Washington won’t be going to a baseball practice,” says Carden Compton of West Virginia.  “He’ll be looking for Trump. It won’t be me because I won’t go to jail for the likes of him but it someone else may try to do it.”
Trump aides used to say that his supporters would “walk over glass” to support the President.
Now, more and more of them are sweeping the glass aside as they walk away in disgust.
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Copyright © 2017 Capitol Hill Blue

Moving into the international cuckoo's nest, thanks to a British ex-pat amigo living in Key West, I added this charming pic:
I'm so over it with these damn fricking Muslims, I wish they would all just disappear somewhere. Every day you turn on the news and another Act of barbarism or suffering around the world is caused by these fricking primitive people. all they know is hatred, When is this Insanity going to end, And human beings can start acting like some kind of civilised people again.
Comments
Ranjan Kaushal Sheel, we are too lenient and forgiving. These guys are so badly brainwashed that they think that the more barbaric they are the more islamic they'll be. They only way is to deny them entry into your country. Trump is not wrong, y'no

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June 18 at 3:31pm
Sheel Sheelman Poisonous snakes will not bite you if you're not around them. I didn't need to go to college to learn this!

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June 18 at 3:33pm

Jody Giblo Ethnic cleansing time

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ReplyJune 18 at 3:35pm
Sheel Sheelman Then we become them, This is not the answer. They do not belong in our society that thinks differently from them. Anyone that uses violence, fear, and Intimidation on the Innocent need to be relocated back into their own environment. Don't put a lamb in the lions cage and expect them to live in harmony. Some humans are compatible and some are not it's just that simple.

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June 18 at 3:46pmEdited

Jody Giblo Trump is trying to do but them demlibs social people dont want because of the votes

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ReplyJune 18 at 3:41pm
Jody Giblo Eye for a eye my grampa said when i was young

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ReplyJune 18 at 3:43pm
Sheel Sheelman Some "so-called religions" do not belong in our society that thinks differently from them. Anyone that uses violence, fear, and Intimidation on the Innocent need to be relocated back into their own environment. Don't put a lamb in the lion's cage and expect them to live in harmony. Some cultures are compatible and some are not it's just that simple. Singing "We Are the World" Like some Hollywood musical, holding hands might look good in movies, but we live in the real world, not in some theatre, where some people will cut your throat at the drop of a hat Because you believe different. Wake up. I will keep on voicing my opinion about this because I, unfortunately, like so many do not live in a fantasy world, With the mindset of It's always somebody else, until one day it becomes you!

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June 18 at 4:03pmEdited

Mary Inez Sisco China don't let them in their country and I don't blame them. Why do they want to be here when they hate everything about us? I can only think of one reason, terrorism 😬

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Reply10 hrsEdited
Karen Hirst I love ❤️ your input, Sheel and my thoughts and feelings are exactly the same as yours! Send them back to their world if they cannot live civilized in our world! End the evilness!!

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June 18 at 4:46pm

Judy Hart They will never disappear. They're like cockroaches.

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June 18 at 6:49pm

Jan Isherwood Yea, its not rocket science, Sheel! The only reason its not happening here is because of Trump. People should give him a break, altho' I dont like anything else hes doing!

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Yesterday at 12:38am


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ReplyYesterday at 7:57am
Devon Rogers You are the one full of hate.As with ALL religion there are extremists.You should NOT judge a whole on a few that take their beliefs and spread hate and violence.Wait!!! Isn't that what you are doing? You are as guilty as these radicals.You are just like them .FULL of hate.

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Reply23 hrs
Sheel Sheelman Devon and your answer is? Unfortunately Sometimes in this Imperfect world, we live in, you have to fight fire with fire, not by choice but by the necessity of survival. If people had the same attitude as you, During the Second World War there is a very good chance we would all be speaking German now! And sorry if I offend you by me using my freedom of speech and expression, which tends to offend And is very typical from the Obama clan of doing nothing. Have a great day.

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23 hrsEdited

Lisa Seville Sheel Sheelman - that is a great reply 🌹

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23 hrs

Devon Rogers You post about getting rid of Muslims.Thats called "ethnic cleansing" Isnt that what the Germans wanted to do? So you hold their thinking.You ,by your own posts support their thinking. I just don't think you realize it

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Reply23 hrs
Sheel Sheelman Please point out where I use that word "ethnic cleansing." you are speaking like a Nazi not me. Where does "Disappear" become ethnic cleansing???

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Reply23 hrsEdited
Devon Rogers You didn't post that you wanted to get rid of all Muslims?

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Reply23 hrs
Sheel Sheelman Lol.. But your still not reading my post, Where did I say "Get rid of!"

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Reply23 hrsEdited
Sheel Sheelman You might want to relax with your own personal hatred and start reading.

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Reply23 hrsEdited
Sheel Sheelman And Devon Gone now!

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Reply23 hrs
Devon Rogers I am so over these damn Muslims . I wish they would just disappear.those are your words. Have a great day

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22 hrs

Sheel Sheelman Lol.. Correct, a full circle of nothing.

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22 hrsEdited

Ranjan Kaushal Devon, Sheel is absolutely correct about Islam where violence is an essential part of it. Haven't you seen videos of Islamists beheading women. What is sharia all about? Chopping of heads, hands, killing of non believers, stoning to death....

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21 hrsEdited

Sheel Sheelman The reason for my comments, Is not in creating more hatred, But the exact opposite and ending it.

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20 hrsEdited

Mary Inez Sisco I haven't seen anything on the news about Sheel Sheelman wanting to kill innocent people. You must be one of them baby killers with that view. Ask the people in London and Paris that let these low life's into their city.

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Reply10 hrs
Ahzs Maralda If you had a carton of eggs and someone told you only ONE of them was poison, but you didn't know WHICH ONE...would you still buy the carton of eggs, take them home and cook with them?

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23 hrs

Larry Blackburn Hmmm.....car runs down a group of Muslims outside of their place of worship. It isn't the religion but rather the RADICAL interpretation of such. Remember that throughout history more people had died because of EXTREME interpretations of religion and that includes EVERY religion. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

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Reply20 hrs
Ranjan Kaushal No Larry, this is 21st century. Quran is a 7th century edition which was born in a place inhabited by savage tribals living in a desert. Muslims have not upgraded this edition since then and now the barbarity of these hunters & gatherers has remained unchanged since then. There are no divine texts. They are all man made as per the wisdoms prevailing then. All texts have come out with new editions. Islam refuses to. It's actually "I SLAM"

Reply18 hrs
Larry Blackburn No Ranjan, please go back and read your history. I speak of extrimism and the fact that more people in this world have died because of religion than any war. And in regards to your comment about being man made......the bible...man made..the Vadas...man made...the Tripitaka...man made, the Koran...man madeThe Book of Mormaon...man made. Every single relgious text on the face of the earth is man madeand they all contradict each other. The problems are the interpretations made by MAN. See where the problem is? I prefer my fiction from the library and not the churches. Doesn't matter when it was written. It is what the people that believe in them THINK it says as opposed to what it actually say and therein lies the problem. I think that we might be on the same page here when all is said and done but I certainly do not blame any religion for anything. I blame the fanatics and the extremists.

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18 hrs
Sheel Sheelman So are you saying this makes it more acceptable? Hmmm. When excuses and explanations bring back the dead, this might mean something.

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Reply19 hrsEdited
Larry Blackburn Did not make ONE excuse Sheel. Simply pointed out the FACTS across the board. Facts that sadly cannot be refuted. I too hope for a solution but sadly the solution involves the elimination of hatred, extremism and violence found in EVERY relgion. Hope that offers a bit of clarity to my comment for you.

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Reply19 hrsEdited
Sheel Sheelman Okay thanks!!

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Larry Blackburn Sheel Sheelman now.....go capture a beautiful image!!!!!

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19 hrs


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Sloan Bashinsky I imagine the real Americans still feel much the same about white European Christian immigrants to America, and their white descendants. As I recollect, it was white European Christians who declared war on Islam (the Crusades) and sacked and destroyed much of a considerably more advanced civilization in "The Holy Lands". As I recall, the Vietnamese have fond memories of America. Everything is relative. G.W. Bush attacked a country that had never attacked, or even threatened to attack. After his father had set that country up, when it was still an American ally. I'm talking about Iraq. I am wondering right now if God wishes religion never was invented?

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Reply19 hrs
Sloan Bashinsky In Genesis, I think, God tells Abraham that Ishmael's seed will become a great nation and will cause Isaac's seed trouble. That's in the Koran, the Christian Bible and the Jewish Scriptures. Islam believes Ishmael was the son God promised to Abraham. Mohammed descended from Ishmael. Moses and Jesus from Isaac. Islam sees that talk God had with Abraham as a covenant, and a duty, to cause Isaac's seed (Judaism and Christendom) trouble.

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Reply19 hrs
Sloan Bashinsky The Christian crusades, Britain, France and later the US meddling in the Middle East, awakened a MONSTER.

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19 hrsEdited

Larry Blackburn I say once again.....EVERY religion.

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Sheel Sheelman While the quotations of history books, Might be all very well, But the fact of the matter is people are dying today as we speak, and it needs to be stopped immediately. What it boils down for me is I don't hate the people, I hate the haters, That use the name of their religion to kill. That being said, the truth of the matter is the Koran is not a book of peace.

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Reply17 hrs
Sloan Bashinsky Nor is the Old Testament, which seems more important than Jesus to American Christians who back America's wars.

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sloanbashinsky@outlook.com